Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wicked Progeny

Kids, concrete proof that humans love misery. Why we still reproduce those bundles of joy is still a mystery. If there is a god, and this is all by design, why the fuck didn’t god make kids realize THEY ARE NOT FUCKING CUTE. If you think your kid puking on me, pulling my beard or just being a fucking nuisance in a public place is cute, kindly do not reproduce. If you still feel like doing so, keep your annoying nincompoops away from me, lest they think I shall find their antics as cute as their mind-numbing parents. You might think I deserve being annoyed for thinking of kids that way of those powerless little visions of god, think again. It might not be as much fun when your 3 and a half foot spawn, for me, begins to personify a giant football.

Keep your fucking kids on their leash, and if you can’t or find it inhuman, its time you consider permanent birth control.


6 comments:

Pri said...

So, its like this. If you hate kids, you stay away from them. They don't conspire to puke on you. Stop watching youtube videos that shows kids puking all over. Babies ARE adorable and will be. So :-P

Aditi said...

hmmm well kind of agree with what you say kids are so annoying and the worst part is the looks you get when you say it out loud n say that u dont want to have any, they look at you like some freak and then start debating bout hw some one cant like kids... pls ppl dis aint gonna wrk i wnt mk da mistakes u made!

hey came across your profile on orkut... u had visted my profile!

interesting blog!

The Depressed Doormat said...

pri: Kids are annoying. there is no debate. And this is from a third person point of view, where i have all the "benefits" of babying those little fuckers and none of the responsibilities... kids crying... oh go to mommy...
and kids puke, piss, take a shit... and they dont warn u. I dont want anyones puke on me... even if its a 2 month old nincompoop.

daydreamingoracle: I guess I don't have as much beef with new borns as I do with those 2-8 year old menaces. Fuck. If you want to watch a movie get a fucking babysitter. I am sick of those dumb fucking parent that must drag their kids to passion of the christ.

Thanks for the vote of confidence though.

Pri said...

doormat, kids are "annoying". Yes. They are mad of you and your spouse, goddamnit. In a very twisted way, it is like you hating yuorself and your "better" half. If you think you want to watch to watch passion of the christ, you can always get a dvd when you lil "fucker" is old enough to take care of himself. Whats easier? DONT WATCH PASSION O THE CHRIST. You will regret it anyway. :P I did.
Bottomline, you hate yourself :P

Aditi said...

@ pri interesting! yeah! people who hate themselves hate kids too on some level maybe, but on the other hand people who refrain from procreating love themselves so much that they hang on to their genes lol! and dont let them mix with anyone to create little terrors! for there is no way that a person can be replicated. period!

@ doormat i hate kids period! in all shapes sizes and ages.they get annoying at say around 8 years when they can ask any many embarrasing questions and get away with it all coz they are oh! so little innocent lil angels!(yeah rite!)like the other day i was watching frnds with an eight yr old brat who was hanging around coz cartoon network didnt have anthing nice and suddenly bursts out saying are ross and racheal gonna do sex now and mom on hearing this from her lil angels mouth says that i corrupted him when i dont even like to be in the same room as that annoying brat!

yeah! i can go on and on about this topic! but phew! i have typed quite a bit now! :)

The Depressed Doormat said...

That aspect too... I hate those smart-ass kids... like the that one kid that comes in the TATA Namak ad... its fucking annoying... makes me want to slap that kid so hard that he has prints on the inside of his cheek...

All the agression aside, I especially hate when the "adults" expect you to be a role model to the young ones... FUCK. I have enough of my own problems. If they have a brain they'll learn not to emulate my mistakes.