Monday, April 16, 2007

No News Is Good News

This is a post I had made on Contradiction Reflected. Just thought I'd place it here too.

It has been at least, 2 years since I have opened up a news papers or hit the enter button on our very own Indian news sites. Two years and nothing has changed. Indian “NEWS” (even today analogous to tabloids and poor quality playboy versions) is as sensation driven as it was 2 years ago and is yet to mature. If I may say so, it seems to be getting worse. The Indian public is still being brain-washed with bad news, sensational events, and Idol Worship, even in a country graced by great thinkers like Swami Dayanand Saraswati.

My return to the Indian news reading population ended up being temporary. I have been driven away again from those over-crowded, mind numbing web sites that post the Indian news in digital format.

Articles like the ones I am going to pin-point are the ones that make me want to hurl my chicken dinner and any person that takes himself seriously should have the same feeling everytime he visits, or picks up a print edition of The Times of India.

Yana Gupta: Behind the hourglass figure!

This one is from I too, from time to time, enjoy being titillated by semi-naked or even naked women flaunting those medical marvels, those countless plastic surgeries, lakhs of rupees spent at dental clinics etc. But that being said, newspapers should be separate from Playboy pretends.

No reply from Sachin, Yuvraj yet: BCCI

This one should be re-titled “Indian cricketers at their Best”. Bitching after yet another dismal performance, playing the blame game like their politician mentors at BCCI. The coach getting blamed because of the players’ lack of ability in a country they know hero-worships them.

Emraan’s latest on screen lip-lock!

And they say Indians are getting more broadminded everyday. I doubt it. When every “on screen lip-lock” is being hailed like the 10th avatar of Vishnu, you know we are far from being broad minded and are looking to sensationalise our movies as well as our newspapers.

Quoting from the article:
“Talking of her debut kiss on-screen, she says, “I was very nervous during the first kissing scene, but the director made it look so easy that it didn’t take much effort.” Is she trying to say Emraan’s an amazing kisser? Say it gal…you aren’t the first one to feel that way…”

This is obviously a great piece of journalism from someone that will find himself amidst the ranks of John Hersey or the more famous duo of Woodward and Bernstein very soon. Not that I want to comment about his style of writing, but more so on his IQ and his standing at a major newspaper, even if it is in the tabloid sections. The “gal” says the DIRECTOR made the kiss look easy, not Emraan, who is the actor (I suppose, or has the casting couch become public now, like reality television). Anyway, that aside, can’t the director-duo (two brains are better than one?) come up with more than a one-word movie title that their 2nd standard going children came up with?

Arun Nayar in hiding?

This one takes the cake. Arun Nayar, the name sounds familiar. Oh yeah! He is the rich guy whose claim to fame was that he banged Liz Hurley. And he is still in the news ‘cause he doesn’t want to talk to daddy dearest? Leave the man alone. I think all this negative press coverage is giving him a hard time getting it hard.

Trump tops 'Unsexiest men' list

While he makes it onto these unsexiest men lists, he is reading a real newspaper that makes him richer by the second, which in turn lands him some hot punani falling at his feet for a chance to clean his waterworks. At the same time, the people that came up with this list, and he who covered it for India Times, are stuck in a dingy office smaller than Trumps golf cart.

In more News: at TOI and

I did it in heat of the moment: Tendulkar
Indian team jersey sells at half price
It hurts when coach questions our attitude: Sachin

Heat of the moment my ass. It wasn’t like it there was a debate between mr ten-run-kar and chappell. He had the time to think things over and I do not think an apology is sufficient.

Indian team jerseys are still selling? I thought the public would be stoning anyone wearing that artifact. On a slightly different note, the pakis called the Indian dressing room to thank them profusely over india’s departure from the WC. They now know that they will not be stoned to death as Pakistani fans are doubling with laughter after Indian press and fans did the same, although prematurely.

As for Mr ten-run-kar’s attitude, I think chappell got it wrong there. He has too much of it and all the wrong kinds. But then, in a country that will support him no matter what, even if he rapes and kills half our population, it is hard to find fault with his feeling of being indispensable.

Ambedkar memorial sparks controversy

Again? Must this happen every year? Waiting for a time machine to go blow this guys brains out for destroying almost single handedly, what could have been a great nation.

Abhi-Ash wedding: Guest list
Photo: Is this Ash-Abhishek's new home?
Sanju: I wish Ash-Abhi make me a chacha soon

Fuck. What is this country coming to? Note to self: In the event that above said time machine does get built, take out the BIG B and his oh-so-annoying wife, mother-in-law exclaiming with her pasted smile, of a manufactured wedding, about her alleged love for ash even before the announced nuptial.

You might say I have only targeted the bad news in the newspaper. I might have, but even then, this is alarmingly huge amount of news from two newspapers and obviously, over-lapping articles haven’t been pasted twice. This however is the only news that should be on that site. And I doubt THAT is the only news in a country of far over 1 billion people. Cricket, movies and celeb weddings can’t be the end of the world.

Polling peaceful, 46 percent turnout

It was also heartening to read about a calm election. Someone seems to be working hard to maintain peace, and keep the vote bandits at bay.

Woman slices hubby's nose

Where are the female activists? Sarcasm aside, I don’t think what this woman did is punishable. In fact I can justify it without feeling even a bit hypocritical about the whole thing. While the murder should be tried, the fact that she was driven to it by an abusive husband must hold some water right? And isn’t it a wake up call for the moronic public to stop listening to bullshit activists and begin using their brains and make sure that the real women that need upliftment get it? But in a country with a reservation mentality, I am looking forward (rubbing hands gleefully) to many more homicidal acts of revenge. Perhaps someday Rabri will do it to pyaare Lalooji and that will act like our 9/11.

One cornea gives vision to three patients
Probably the most important news article of the day. I wonder if it was even covered by any of the news channels or print media. If it hasn’t it is a disgrace and there is no wonder as to why the brain drain still occurs.

Case registered against Narayana Murthy for remarks

This article was just personally gratifying. I wonder what the punishment for the offence is and I hope it is most severe. I also hope, that in addition, they staple potty mouth.

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