Sunday, April 29, 2007

"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."
Lillian Florence Hellman (June 20, 1905 – June 30, 1984)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wicked Progeny

Kids, concrete proof that humans love misery. Why we still reproduce those bundles of joy is still a mystery. If there is a god, and this is all by design, why the fuck didn’t god make kids realize THEY ARE NOT FUCKING CUTE. If you think your kid puking on me, pulling my beard or just being a fucking nuisance in a public place is cute, kindly do not reproduce. If you still feel like doing so, keep your annoying nincompoops away from me, lest they think I shall find their antics as cute as their mind-numbing parents. You might think I deserve being annoyed for thinking of kids that way of those powerless little visions of god, think again. It might not be as much fun when your 3 and a half foot spawn, for me, begins to personify a giant football.

Keep your fucking kids on their leash, and if you can’t or find it inhuman, its time you consider permanent birth control.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

President Inaction

I believe India – 2020 is a great PR job by the president. I too bought it, if only to escape this world and country into a possibility of utopianism. Today, however, after almost 5 years of the greatest PR man in Indian politics, I have come to the realization that no President of this country is willing to stick his neck out.

The growing trend of crime, corruption and above all else apathy by the people and the media, who are more content worrying about ladoos for the wedding of the century, not to mention the selective alienation of sections of the Indian population (read reservations) is more than sufficient reason for me to believe that this dream for an all powerful India in just over a decade will remain a pipe dream.

The president’s inaction over the past few months and more generally over his term, in cases like the Alistair Pereira case, or the Black Buck cases and even in army corruption charges shows his inability to take a hard stance, and hence the man who dreams of a glorious country shows his inability/unwillingness to work towards that goal and above all, shows how shrewd a politician and PR manager he is, capitalizing on his “missile man” image, to make a quick buck while the rest of India allows themselves to be enamored by the picture of glorious India he paints.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Letter to the mis-editor

I have always been of the opinion that Indian newspapers thrive on sensationalism and fabricated news. You guys go the extra mile and prove it altogether.

We are quick to blame our politicians for everything that is wrong in India, but the fact remains that the media is equally to blame, since it is the voice of the people as well as the true source of information for those people too. Opinions can be formed and changed by news articles, since it is unthinkable of a newspaper lying. In the event that you have already accepted the possible mistake, I apologise. But if this hasn't happened yet it shows the difference between how responsible Indian and western newspapers feel. I believe a Washington paper had the same article (The Post?) and has since made an apology for its mistake.

The article I wish your clarification on is the following

"Domestic violence law in force from today"

I quote from the article:

"According to the United Nations Development Programme, nearly 70 per cent married women in the age group of 15 to 49 years in India face “rape, beating and verbal abuse”."

There is a gross lack of social responsibility on behalf of your journalist (I am trying hard to remain social and hence grant this title to her) and hence by your newspaper too.

I have searched the UNDP site and have been unable to find the said statistic. On the contrary, I have found another UN statistic ( that is at poles with what you have without verification printed in your paper.

Unlike your newspaper I shall cite my source and await your clarification.


Hoping that this letter does not get engulfed in the Red tape of Indian "journalism".

Monday, April 16, 2007

No News Is Good News

This is a post I had made on Contradiction Reflected. Just thought I'd place it here too.

It has been at least, 2 years since I have opened up a news papers or hit the enter button on our very own Indian news sites. Two years and nothing has changed. Indian “NEWS” (even today analogous to tabloids and poor quality playboy versions) is as sensation driven as it was 2 years ago and is yet to mature. If I may say so, it seems to be getting worse. The Indian public is still being brain-washed with bad news, sensational events, and Idol Worship, even in a country graced by great thinkers like Swami Dayanand Saraswati.

My return to the Indian news reading population ended up being temporary. I have been driven away again from those over-crowded, mind numbing web sites that post the Indian news in digital format.

Articles like the ones I am going to pin-point are the ones that make me want to hurl my chicken dinner and any person that takes himself seriously should have the same feeling everytime he visits, or picks up a print edition of The Times of India.

Yana Gupta: Behind the hourglass figure!

This one is from I too, from time to time, enjoy being titillated by semi-naked or even naked women flaunting those medical marvels, those countless plastic surgeries, lakhs of rupees spent at dental clinics etc. But that being said, newspapers should be separate from Playboy pretends.

No reply from Sachin, Yuvraj yet: BCCI

This one should be re-titled “Indian cricketers at their Best”. Bitching after yet another dismal performance, playing the blame game like their politician mentors at BCCI. The coach getting blamed because of the players’ lack of ability in a country they know hero-worships them.

Emraan’s latest on screen lip-lock!

And they say Indians are getting more broadminded everyday. I doubt it. When every “on screen lip-lock” is being hailed like the 10th avatar of Vishnu, you know we are far from being broad minded and are looking to sensationalise our movies as well as our newspapers.

Quoting from the article:
“Talking of her debut kiss on-screen, she says, “I was very nervous during the first kissing scene, but the director made it look so easy that it didn’t take much effort.” Is she trying to say Emraan’s an amazing kisser? Say it gal…you aren’t the first one to feel that way…”

This is obviously a great piece of journalism from someone that will find himself amidst the ranks of John Hersey or the more famous duo of Woodward and Bernstein very soon. Not that I want to comment about his style of writing, but more so on his IQ and his standing at a major newspaper, even if it is in the tabloid sections. The “gal” says the DIRECTOR made the kiss look easy, not Emraan, who is the actor (I suppose, or has the casting couch become public now, like reality television). Anyway, that aside, can’t the director-duo (two brains are better than one?) come up with more than a one-word movie title that their 2nd standard going children came up with?

Arun Nayar in hiding?

This one takes the cake. Arun Nayar, the name sounds familiar. Oh yeah! He is the rich guy whose claim to fame was that he banged Liz Hurley. And he is still in the news ‘cause he doesn’t want to talk to daddy dearest? Leave the man alone. I think all this negative press coverage is giving him a hard time getting it hard.

Trump tops 'Unsexiest men' list

While he makes it onto these unsexiest men lists, he is reading a real newspaper that makes him richer by the second, which in turn lands him some hot punani falling at his feet for a chance to clean his waterworks. At the same time, the people that came up with this list, and he who covered it for India Times, are stuck in a dingy office smaller than Trumps golf cart.

In more News: at TOI and

I did it in heat of the moment: Tendulkar
Indian team jersey sells at half price
It hurts when coach questions our attitude: Sachin

Heat of the moment my ass. It wasn’t like it there was a debate between mr ten-run-kar and chappell. He had the time to think things over and I do not think an apology is sufficient.

Indian team jerseys are still selling? I thought the public would be stoning anyone wearing that artifact. On a slightly different note, the pakis called the Indian dressing room to thank them profusely over india’s departure from the WC. They now know that they will not be stoned to death as Pakistani fans are doubling with laughter after Indian press and fans did the same, although prematurely.

As for Mr ten-run-kar’s attitude, I think chappell got it wrong there. He has too much of it and all the wrong kinds. But then, in a country that will support him no matter what, even if he rapes and kills half our population, it is hard to find fault with his feeling of being indispensable.

Ambedkar memorial sparks controversy

Again? Must this happen every year? Waiting for a time machine to go blow this guys brains out for destroying almost single handedly, what could have been a great nation.

Abhi-Ash wedding: Guest list
Photo: Is this Ash-Abhishek's new home?
Sanju: I wish Ash-Abhi make me a chacha soon

Fuck. What is this country coming to? Note to self: In the event that above said time machine does get built, take out the BIG B and his oh-so-annoying wife, mother-in-law exclaiming with her pasted smile, of a manufactured wedding, about her alleged love for ash even before the announced nuptial.

You might say I have only targeted the bad news in the newspaper. I might have, but even then, this is alarmingly huge amount of news from two newspapers and obviously, over-lapping articles haven’t been pasted twice. This however is the only news that should be on that site. And I doubt THAT is the only news in a country of far over 1 billion people. Cricket, movies and celeb weddings can’t be the end of the world.

Polling peaceful, 46 percent turnout

It was also heartening to read about a calm election. Someone seems to be working hard to maintain peace, and keep the vote bandits at bay.

Woman slices hubby's nose

Where are the female activists? Sarcasm aside, I don’t think what this woman did is punishable. In fact I can justify it without feeling even a bit hypocritical about the whole thing. While the murder should be tried, the fact that she was driven to it by an abusive husband must hold some water right? And isn’t it a wake up call for the moronic public to stop listening to bullshit activists and begin using their brains and make sure that the real women that need upliftment get it? But in a country with a reservation mentality, I am looking forward (rubbing hands gleefully) to many more homicidal acts of revenge. Perhaps someday Rabri will do it to pyaare Lalooji and that will act like our 9/11.

One cornea gives vision to three patients
Probably the most important news article of the day. I wonder if it was even covered by any of the news channels or print media. If it hasn’t it is a disgrace and there is no wonder as to why the brain drain still occurs.

Case registered against Narayana Murthy for remarks

This article was just personally gratifying. I wonder what the punishment for the offence is and I hope it is most severe. I also hope, that in addition, they staple potty mouth.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Hit and Why Bother Run

Is the latest Alistair Pereira “hit and run” case a failure of the Indian judicial system, the judicial executives, the media or the Indian public? Whichever one it might be, the picture is clear. India is not a developing country. We are a rapidly deteriorating, inadequate, impotent society, a virus, unworthy of our ancestors.

No matter how economically self-sufficient India gets, which it has in the past decade, these are the true indicators to a developed country and a socially conscious society. India 2020, Mr. Kalam, and Mr. Manmohan Singh (I refuse to call them Dr., as I consider that to be a title befitting people of distinguished character) will in 2050 continue to remain a 200-odd paged book of utopian face-in-the-sand optimism.