Saturday, June 16, 2007

Poochie Poo

Yet another four-legged-menace-to-society invites my loathing.

Dogs, cats and pretty much any other two, four, six or eight legged creature brings about pretty much the same feeling of annoyance as does an ill-mannered baby. They all have one thing in common though. They don’t know where the fuck to excrete. They purge themselves anywhere they deem fit. Thankfully, I don’t own one of those little rascals, the animal kind or the human kind and hence I am saved of the everyday battle with feces, puke and urinal discharge.

But that doesn’t save me from those mongrels roaming the streets. “Oh he doesn’t bite!” What good natured people, reassuring me and alleviating my fears. That is, until their damn mutt takes a nice piece of me. And then am I allowed to retaliate? An eye for an eye?

You might say that it is a rare occurrence. True. But one thing that isn’t rare is those damn stupid pooches sniffing my genitals. It’s the most annoying feeling… having to stop in your tracks to be “searched” by a Britney spears think-alike. I guess there is no true revenge as long as dog lovers exist. Or is there? I am considering chemical warfare.


This was a rant I had typed out on "one of those days"; dog poop all over the place (yes, in Chicago) and an over-enthusiastic doggy and its barking-sniffing extravaganza. But that was then, and though I didn't post it, it seems ironically funny to me and hence I made the decision to post it.


9 comments:

bhavna said...

Just like the way i feel that parents are responsible for the behaviour of their kids, i think the owner of the pet is responsible to keep his or her pet under control and make sure that other people around are not uncomfortable cuz of the presence of their pet...even though am a crazy pet lover myself but i know the discomfort u're talking about..so i dont blame the pet here but the owner completely..and if u know u're pet is a li'l out of control then keep the pet on a leash..and away from people who dont want to know how cute ur pet is..and stop testing on them if ur cute one bites or not..atleast if they are not interested.

angry ballerina said...

Bhavna is right, a responsibility is a responsibility, no matter what the creature is. I often feel this way more towards parents than people who own dogs and cats.

The Depressed Doormat said...

Well, it’s a rant. It’s not meant to be targeted at the right person. But I obviously agree that it’s the person on the other end of the leash/cradle that deserves to get pooped on and die! Unless I know them of course :P

angry ballerina said...

Eh, I kinda wish I was a chimp sometimes so I would have an excuse to fling crap at people and not get arrested.

bhavna said...

is that a crime for humans if they do it???:P...nt here atleast!

angry ballerina said...

No, it's fuckin' funny. I love monkeys. I want one.

The Depressed Doormat said...

@angry: aren't you an ape already? I've seen you go ape shit on your blog!!! And I don't even want to get started about evolution. I think I can arrange for a monkey if you arrange for more of those flies :P

@bhavna: we can do that in India??? damn... now you tell me.

angry ballerina said...

I think I can find some flies, I have been knee deep in shit as of late, so arranging that should be no problem. As far as evolution goes, please don't get me started either, but I think we would be on the same side.... Skippin' leave it at that.

The Depressed Doormat said...

its a deal then :P