Red, White and Brown Nosed

For a man that makes his living off stereotypes, Russell Peters does not notice the dichotomy of assaulting the media for using stereotypes for furthering agendas and propagandas. But for those people that like intelligent humor, be it the wit and sarcasm of Yes, Minister, or… the wit and sarcasm of George Carlin, you will instantly notice the fallacy of Peters’ chosen words. He is a part of the media. But unfortunately his ignorance is shown by his inability to take part of the blame, or it just shows his hypocrisy.

In his “new” act, “Red, White and Brown”, Russell Peters claims to have found himself a new voice; retiring old jokes. As usual, his act is confused as he shuttles between his identity of a North American and his “cheap” accented brown identity, and in that we can take solace, that Russell Peters is Indian, not just genetically, but even culturally.¹ He is a true hypocrite; One that would do Mother India proud.

Russell Peters is a cult comedian, like George Lopez, or Dane Cook, mediocre comedians targeting fringe audiences and cults that they have cultivated. Perhaps with respect to the specifics of the jokes Peters is “fresh” but considering the subject matter remains the same as his earlier acts (same jokes about Indian cheapness, about Chinese accents, about Italian machismo…). And while there is some humor to be found even in repetition, it can only go so far. If Red, White and Brown weren’t advertised as a “new act”, perhaps this would be a good extension of his earlier acts… and amusing². However, this blatant attempt to beguile audiences or just his ignorance as to what constitutes a “new act” takes out some of the fun of watching a mediocre comedian.

After all, it doesn’t hurt if you are eating an egg salad sandwich, knowing that it is an egg salad sandwich and nothing more. But when you are served an egg salad sandwich, all while you were expecting smoked salmon, then it is just disingenuous; and you have every right to take it as an insult to your intelligence. After all, you just paid for something more!

P.S. I watched it on YouTube; “The new home of piracy”.

NB:

1. Peter’s attempts to make the distinction between his genetically derived Indian-ness, such as his skin color, his physical attributes versus Indian personality traits (which he claims not to have) is a large part of the act as he discusses his trip to India. It is only laughable that he does not notice how he undermines his own point!


2. Notice the distinction between amusing and funny. A good knock-knock joke is funny. Repeating a good joke over and over again, is at best… amusing.

Olympic Dreams

With the end of the Beijing Olympics (yes I know it ended some time back), there are those that are reveling in the pseudo-national pride that comes with your nation performing, however lack luster, at the big event; ecstatic at our performances in shooting, wrestling and boxing, Indian sports fans and the above mentioned pseudo-patriots are going crazy with accolades. At the other end of the spectrum there are the critics that either can’t/won’t take anything positive from it or are just inclined to finding the cloud that carries the silver lining.

The medal trio is enjoying the adulation being poured in on them, while the other athletes either disappear into obscurity or get back to training for the next event of their season. But that sounds just like the India I left two years back, where effort goes unnoticed, hard work and dedication sidelined by the Indian publics need for instant gratification.

But let us leave them for the moment and concentrate on our critics. Just 3 medals from a billion strong? Or how about the fact that countries the size of Estonia, or ones with political strife like Zimbabwe manage to win more medals than us?

"We are the world’s biggest democracy, the second most populous country in the world. Then why is that in a span of 4 years, we are only able to produce 57 top athletes?"
Source: http://www.iwebie.com/indias-2008-beijing-olympics-dreams

But these comparisons are simplistic. Canada, the second largest country finished just 19^th, and Indonesia, with the 4^th largest population did worse than the aforementioned politically handicapped nation. This just goes to prove, your size, population or wealth has no bearing on how well you will do at the Olympics or any large sporting event for that matter.

"This is a matter of national shame, an aspect that the Indian Govt. needs to look at closely."
Source: http://www.iwebie.com/indias-2008-beijing-olympics-dreams

This sentiment is highly reflective of Indian behavior, our need to shirk off responsibility and redirect blame. It isn’t the government that is to blame. It is the Indian public. A nation, taking a crap on Rathore, without even knowing what the reason for his poor performance might have been. And even if there is no reason, I believe our medal winners (and prospects) deserve a little more respect than they are currently being shown

But what irks me more than everything else Indians do is the fact that some of these critics aren’t too appreciative of the fact that our medal winners are getting the attention that they are currently receiving.

"Now lets move our focus towards the sportsmen themselves. Vijender Kumar has already started talking in terms of modeling. Sushil Kumar seems to be completely over the moon. Its obvious that these people have started losing their focus even before their actual journey has commenced. At a time when they should start concentrating on the Commonwealth Games, India's so called medal winners are everywhere except for where they should be."
Source: http://www.intheorbit.com

Note: They are not “so-called” winners.

Well, it is alright when those douche bags get coke and Pepsi deals, isn’t it? I find nothing wrong with the Indian sportsmen and women cashing in on their newfound and (possibly) short lived fame due to their “so-called” Olympic triumphs. After all we are a fickle nation with no regard for our sports heroes. Maybe you will remember some of our athletes that had to sell their medals¹ from other events in order to survive. Or maybe you do not. But that is our nature. And it is this nature that has dawned on these three men and they deserve to make the best of what they have now. May they never have to worry about selling their hard earned medals.

But all this begs the question, who is to blame; when our system rewards performances after results and provides no impetus (different from incentives) for our athletes (cricketers aren't athletes in my opinion). I don’t have the answer, and I don’t think Indians really care either. The question will be put on the back burner until a few months before the 2012 Olympics.

But all this doesn’t hold a candle to the final and most absurd accusation, one that pisses me off so much that I believe that anyone that dare make such an accusation deserves castration; and that is for the lack of time to construct an appropriate torture that matches the blasphemy. It is said that the reason we had so many ‘flakers’ these Olympics was due to the fact that they lack passion. To those cricket loving douche bags that know not true passion when they see it, I hope you rot in the world’s dirtiest cesspool

I don’t see how they can levy this accusation, with reasonable seriousness, when our sportsmen who toil in their respective sports even though the chances of any glory are minimal, even if they do bring in the results (Karnam Malleswari won a few lakhs for her bronze and some Arjuna Award or some titular facade). Most of them toil in their sports into obscurity. Few have heard of the gallant sportsmen who fight so that we may one day have an Abhinav Bindra or an Akhil Kumar.

India doesn’t deserve the medals these young men and women bring in. And while I will be hurt if we continue to perform as we have in the past, I believe the Indian nation deserves nothing more.

1 Poverty crushes spirit of weightlifters.

Pradhan Mantri Mayawati

Yes, India is a technical superpower. We are The IT nation. Our IT services are so brilliant that American companies outsource these jobs in spite of the negative publicity it generates. So wonderful are they that they are a 6 billion dollar industry, contributing to over 7 percent of our GDP and 35% of our exports.

Apparently there aren’t any BSP supporters who can code. No, they can’t hire our wonderful IT professionals and programmers to build themselves a functioning website. Wait a minute, dalits can’t read, can they? That must be it; they are so impoverished and illiterate that a website would serve no purpose!

And the Oscar goes to...

Indian cinema is awakening to the need for intelligent cinema they say. Move over masala flicks and poor scripts; move over bad acting, over acting and no acting. The glory days are finally here and here to stay. Gone are the days where actresses were mere furniture on the sets, gone are the days where actors carried movies. Intelligent scripts are dawning on a new day for Indian cinema.

So what if the Oscars don’t recognize our talent and potential. “Bling” Khan won’t go to the Oscars even if they invited him. He wants the Oscars in India. He wants Cannes in India. He wants to focus on India’s wealth, prosperity and happiness. It is time we stop selling our shortcomings and showcase a whole new India to the west. Let’s have our song and dance movies, but let’s make them 90 minutes he adds.

But this isn’t about Shahrukh Khan. It is about the rejuvenated spirit of Indian cinema. It is about the Rang De Basanti’s, the Taare Zameen Par’s, the Dhamaal’s, and the Munnabhai’s. It is about how the west sidelines Indian cinema, ignoring the underdogs of International cinema. After all, we are one of the largest movie industries in the world!

Lagaan’s loss in the Oscars was sufficient proof for Indians that the Oscars were racist, politicized and one sided. Oh yes, movies like Amelie, No Man’s Land, Son of the bride and Elling had the big bucks.

The French film, Amelie, an Oscar nominee, is a huge hit, having grossed $20 million in America and $100 million abroad. The Golden Globe winner for best foreign film, Bosnia's No Man's Land grossed a modest $300,000 before the awards but won significant kudos including best screenplay at the Cannes Film Festival. 'Superb, fierce, funny,' declared Rolling Stone.

They lobbied hard and made sure Lagaan didn’t stand a chance. And why would a brown man win the Oscars? Oh yes. That has to be it. Lagaan with its 224 minute run time was a sure fire winner, if it wasn’t for racial prejudice.

I have heard reasons spanning its brilliant musical score to the majestic acting by the cast, to the reality of past India, in reviews praising the movie; some westerners too. This is hailed as an international audience accepting the movie and accepting Bollywood standards as satisfactory, if not excellent.

IMDb User Review

From The New Yorker
This Indian film-a period musical drama about a group of drought-stricken villagers who play a cricket match against the British authorities to avoid taxation (lagaan)-is pure Bollywood. The director Ashutosh Gowariker crosses a lavish romantic epic with a muscular adventure tale and comes up with an outrageously buoyant hybrid. The musical sequences burst from the story organically, and the outdoor production numbers are composed of brilliantly edited tracking shots and spectacular choreography. Not all the performances soar (the British actors seem particularly stiff), but the romantic leads are wonderful. Aamir Khan's masterly preening is worthy of a young Tony Curtis and his ladylove, played by Gracy Singh, does a Janet Leigh turn at getting her man. The daunting four-hour length leaves plenty of room for meandering subplots and misunderstandings, but the film is so visually alive and superbly structured-it also breaks for an intermission-that you will be happily taken in by its bighearted charms. In Hindi and English.

-Bruce Diones

But to the objective perspective, it hardly seems so. The attractiveness of this movie to international audiences was far from those reasons. People believed the movies to be a “musical” and I would strictly avoid that label. All Hindi movies have song and dance in them. What differentiates them from a musical is the fact that the songs stunt the forward motion of the script. It is filler, an intermission, a pause for the viewer to recover from the barrage of non-stop nonsense. The exotic nature of our staple song-dance rituals eventually dies out and cinema will eventually be graded on more than the exotic appeal of a region. Lagaan may have benefited far more from its cricket inspired, sing-song, David-Goliath theme, than it has lost. In fact, I am willing to stick my neck out, that on the basis of cinematic excellence, it would have failed to make even the 5 nominated.

But where Lagaan has succeeded, all other bollywood flicks (in the visible future) will fail. The sing-song is no longer novel and cute. The constant breaks in the flow of the movie will be perceived with the same level of annoyance as Lagaan’s 4 hour long tirade. Of all the Oscar nominations in this millennium, Lagaan is by far the worst of them (from the 9 that I have seen so far). Of the 2002 nominations, I can quite comfortably say Lagaan is at best the second from bottom. The reason it has managed this feat, is because I am yet to watch Elling, the Norwegian nomination.

But this rant is a little late, isn’t it? This story is 6 years old. Ancient history. But is it? The reason for our apparent disinterest in the Oscars (for all its political propaganda) is not for justified reasons. The Oscars (at least the foreign language segment), is mostly devoid of the big bucks. No Man’s Land, the eventual winner had hardly grossed millions. Amelie did, but that didn’t make it easier for the producers to lobby for the movie.

The fact remains, whether we like it or not, the Oscars are still considered the epitome of cinematic awards. An even more disheartening fact is our inability to use a common platform to measure our movies with those from around the world. The Taare zameen par’s would hardly withstand the onslaught of sheer brilliance in world cinema today. Yet it hails supreme, as epitome of present day Indian cinema. This is, in spite of there being several good movies launching all over the country. I could go on with this rant, but it is, after all, just my opinion; an opinion that does not outweigh the opinion of a person who is forcefully opposed to my views, even if he hasn’t watched the other nominations, or the eventual winner.

But to drive home the real purpose of this rant, movies hailed in the Indian media are so covered in hype, that it is usually impossible for an objective opinion. Taare Zameen Par, had a sub-par script, with even worse acting from its super-star, and a total lack of originality. When a movie rips off ideas from famous comic strips in a 2+ hour long movie, you know there isn’t a single creative bone! We remain content with our unsatisfactory movie industry, hailing award ceremonies as and when they please us. Cannes is great only as long as they do not shun India’s favorite. The Oscars met with quite the same reaction in India.

But to celebrate excellence, my deluded friend, you must create it. It is easy for the Lagaan's and TZP's to win filmfare and all those countless awards when it is contending against Dil Chahta Hai and Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Gham. But when it is pitted against the likes of Amelie, No Man’s Land, it falls short.

Some more (interesting) reviews:

Lagaan: The Review

Art in the absence of reality

Update Feb 17th:

From NDTV.com

"Shah Rukh admitted to the interviewer that his last year's home production, Om Shanti Om, was full of cliches of Indian cinema. "But it is full of heart. I think we need to make more movies like this and gradually more and more people will come to like that," he said."

That is absurd on so many levels. And if the world standard ever got to that level (god forbid), I will swear off movies! Though am I glad for DVD's and digital media...

The Losing Battle of Uber-Patriotism

Uber-Patriotism is the phenomenon (as perceived by my limited faculties and partial knowledge and understanding of the term) of over-zealous nationalism and patriotism. Uber, German for super or often over, along with patriotism creates some of the worst kind of excesses, the excesses that created the Hitler’s and the Mussolini’s. Anyway, I am not here to discuss the effects of uber-patriotism in history, or its continued effect on world politics and the Middle East, or even the "war on terror", how the United States has been zombified into believing in things that don’t really exist.

This might be stretching too far into the past, but it certainly is still in touch with the trend that is growing in present day India. Uber-Patriotism is a steadily growing phenomenon in India. The film Industry has certainly caught onto this sense of shallow patriotism and cashed in. The Rang De Basanti’s, Chak De India’s, Lagaan’s, Sivaji’s etc. I could go on. This millennium has certainly seen a lot of bollywood "enthusiasm" into the patriotism genre, raking in the big bucks. But this isn’t about the intentions of the movie makers, however noble/ignoble . Its about how we have allowed ourselves to get caught up in the grip of uber-patriotism.

It was sad, for me, as a starry-eyed, quixotic, almost over-zealous patriot, in my mid-teens to see the lack of any spirit of patriotism in the average indian. The ever-ready question, "Aap kahan ke ho?" (where are you from?), to indicate that you are different from them (and to those that lack the background, I am talking about Indians asking people that are obviously indians). But just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does (though the starry eyed boy is long gone).

The pop-culture of patriotism means you have the indian flag waved around on every damn occasion, more pomp and show on days of national celebration, more movies celebrating the national spirit but at the end of the day, you notice that most of it are just words. Empty, shallow words, that have no actions attached to it, nothing of significance to make you stand and take notice.

Anyway, the rambling must stop, let me get back to what originally got me here, the "stretching into the past" that has forced me to make this post. This was a forward that made it’s rounds a few years back. Perhaps more than a few. The gist for the vast majority that won’t bother reading it is, how the current national anthem is in praise of our colonial rulers and hence does not warrant its place in history and certainly doesn’t warrant being the national anthem. The forward then urged unequivocally, that everyone, "united in breath" ask for it to be replaced by Vande Mataram.

Now let me take this opportunity to dispel any notions that might indicate that I have anything against either of the two songs. Both were born out of the minds of literary geniuses. The point to all this is how easy it was to generate mass hysteria, that we as free indians continue to sing the adulations of our colonial miscreants and in doing so, lower ourselves to our slave status, and hence required the urgency that no other matter deserved. The starving millions, the poor federal reserves (at the time) and the countless other problems faced by the nation were all of secondary importance as we prioritised our need for a national anthem that truly forged in our minds the idea of independence. A hyseteria born out of pure speculation and if the same sources are to be believed as the ones that generate the rumour, then the writer very well knew what he was doing.


But irrespective of the intentions, as sensible indian’s that understand the meaning of the word patriotism, shouldn’t you be more open to interpretation than what the original author intended? Should we dismiss all great literary works because its topical relevance contradicts our belief system? Or should we just take a more rationalistic, non-sensationalistic approach to the whole thing, realise that even if the author wrote the song in praise of our evil over-lords, to the vast majority of a billion indians the song is simply, a song in praise of the motherland?