i - Hate

Charity begins in someone else's pocket.

2010-09-21T19:39:00.008-05:00

Suckers; One born every minute.

Someone¹ once said, charity is a quick-fix method for people to clear a dirty conscience. Charity is for the mentally weak who have been told that they must part with their hard earned wealth because it is the "right thing" to do.

And to the fucking idiot that even thinks about giving me the wealth, materialism and their fleeting existence and irrelevance to the "cosmos" bullshit; type your comment after you quit your job, donate all your money, sell your house/car, donate your computer, travel to sub-Saharan Africa and live off the land. Until then, shut your pie hole.

And if you are oh-so-brilliant and want to bring up how you won't be able to comment if you donate your computer/move to sub-Saharan Africa; that's the idea Einstein.

Probably just me.

Snips and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

2010-08-09T22:38:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am just going to come out and say it. Feminism, with their methods of fighting, their arguments, rhetoric and hypocrisies are much alike, “moderate” Islam, pro-affirmative actionists and what I consider to be a predominantly Indian trait¹.

The argument:

Women would NOT go raping men.² (Context: If stereotypical sexual roles were reversed).
That is perhaps³ as far from the truth as the myth that pedophilia did not exist (in the 70s and 80s), or that women were not sexually aggressive with minors, especially with minors under their care.⁴ The fact remains, that most feminists will gladly enjoy the support of the existing gender stereotypes in order to gain advantage in this “battle” of the sexes. Most women, especially feminists, that I have encountered, either find it hard to believe, or are incapable of entertaining the notion that women can be sexually aggressive with adult men. It stems from the stereotypical notions that men want/need sex all the time, and any offers for sex are by definition, not unwanted. That is just as sexist as a guy claiming dominion over “his woman’s sexual real-estate”. As for the original argument, it is only rhetoric, since there is no way we can find for absolutely certain the actual results. However, if nascent studies of female sexual aggression towards men are any indication, the first argument might quite easily be rebutted and debunked.
Men are sexist.
Yes, some men are. Perhaps I am too. But I would rather test this with a simple hypothetical scenario. Answers to this question help us understand who really is sexist.

Stop being a whiny little runt and grow a pair.

A guy saying that to a woman is… a jerk (using societies predetermined standards).
A woman saying that to a man is… assertive.

Somehow, when women proudly proclaim their superiority over men, claiming men think from their penises and only use a fraction of their brain as compared to women, they are not being sexist.

So, as is quite visible from the double standards, as I am going to be judged as being sexist no matter what I do or say in my life, I would like to earn that sentence… so here are my parting thoughts on men being sexist. We are.

Q.What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing. She has already been told twice.
The Indian feminist and the dichotomy of Affirmative action.
This argument is only valid for non-backward caste women that are anti-affirmative action in relation with the correction of India’s caste system. This might be a small group, but in India, it is a significant proportion of people in the “limelight”. The average feminist⁵ is against the affirmative action policy of the Indian government as a means to correct the (caste based) social structure that has been in social turmoil for centuries. My stance on this subject matters not. What is telling, however, is that the same affirmative action is rampant, and lobbied towards by feminist groups in India. With reservation for women in almost every sphere, from bus seats across the country, to entire railway cabins (in Bombay’s⁶ urban railway transportation system), to government jobs to the legal system⁷, it is insanely hypocritical to criticize affirmative action for backward castes while lobbying aggressively for affirmative action for women.
The andro-feminist⁸ lobbyists and/or apologist camps are either in for the rhetoric⁹, or patronize any actual debate by lackadaisical (at best) propaganda¹⁰.
“sorry our point of views don’t meet, since i geniuely want reservation for women even if caste based reservation is removed….the needs of women is better understood by a women and not men…. some men show respect to women not all…..u r blog show ur insecurity….if u hav mother , wife n daughter ask them to read it, they might gv u the right opinion…” [sic]
The rhetoric of this argument is quite lucidly and effectively rebutted within the same web-blog.
“You are basing your ideas on assumptions and pre-conceived notions such as:
1. Women understand women better.
2. Women are better than men.
3. Men are privileged and women are victims.
4. Women alone are discriminated (against).
5. Men’s rights constitute insecurity.
6. Some men show respect to women (Which implies that women alone should be respected and with an assumption that men are automatically respected)."
[Changed for formatting and omission of point 6 due to out of context information. Italics indicate content added]
The same rhetoric is repeated on Wikipedia’s article relevant to the Women’s Reservation Bill of India that aims to incorporate a 33% reservation for women in the upper and lower houses of the union parliament as well as in state legislative assemblies.
- Due to female foeticide and issues related to women's health, sex ratio in India is alarming at 1.06 males per female. It is expected this will change the society to give equal status to women.^{[citation needed]}
- Women are supposedly more resistant to corruption. Therefore, this bill might prove to be a factor restraining the growth of corruption.^{[citation needed]}”
[citation needed tag to the Wikipedia article did not exist prior to the conception of this post, Saturday, July 24, 2010]
No original research is cited for any of these claims. They are, in principle, a fallacy from false assumption. For instance, “women are supposedly more resistant to corruption” is a false assumption since there is no reason to believe that statement. I could submit my own rebuttal committing the same logical fallacies that are committed by feminists¹¹, but hey, some of us actually have ethical responsibilities to the truth.
Equal Work for equal Pay.
The equal work for equal pay argument, at the surface seems like a valid concern. After all, why shouldn’t women get paid equally for performing the same work as their male counterparts? It seems only fair. However, the equal pay fight is not a request for equal pay for equal work, though that is the premise. Financial equality is an attempt at equal pay for equivalent work.

The perfect example of this is Wimbledon and women’s tennis.

The same is true in countless other disciplines (of sport, at least). Why do women’s leagues exist in other sports? Why don’t female cricketers, or baseball player, or basketball, football play in men’s leagues? Aren’t they “equal” to men in every way? Yet, they harp about the lack of interest in these disciplines from the general population. Perhaps because the level of competition in the women’s disciplines is hardly even a fraction of the level of competition, fitness and skill of their male counterparts, in this day and age.

And in the event that these comments are misconstrued as being sexist, I am a big fan of Karnam Malleshwari, have always been. In spite of the fact that Women’s weightlifting is separate from Men’s. I have no misconceptions that men and women have evolved differently (biologically and physically) that it won’t be over-night, that women will be able to compete on a regular basis at the level men do (if at all that possibility exists). Keep in mind; this is true of (generalizing) strength and stamina sports. The same cannot be said of skill sports.
The Label Argument.
Whenever men decide to take the offensive stance against feminisms ill’s we are suddenly met, with a defensive, pitiable¹²stance. The argument against all of the above 4 points takes on the form of “us and them” within the “realm”. Brands of feminism are invoked, and an adherence to a different brand can be prescribed as seen fit. It is, in essence the same argument that “moderate” Islam prescribes to.

“We are not violent. Do not label an entire group because of a few miscreants.”
Or
“The Quran does not prescribe violence. If a muslim uses violence, he/she is not a muslim.”

The same argument is used by feminists, claiming that radical feminism should not be used to tarnish the image of “real” feminism. However, the “qualitative” differences matter not when the quantitative damage is vast and can be enjoyed by feminists irrespective of their brand name.

But I should make the concession for the possibility that I am wrong, or too harsh against feminists. Perhaps it is true. Why should all the feminists be tarnished because of certain brands of feminism? Oh well, because ALL men must pay for the sins of some? Because a guy in delhi cannot keep it in his pants, I must too be labeled as a sex-craving lunatic. Every guy can think only from his pants. Well fuck you to the women that prescribe to this double standard. If you can generalize all men based on the (horrific) actions of some, then you too should be able to face the criticism of the whole based on sub-sects of feminism. Some would argue an eye for an eye. Well, sure, I am all for that. Go rape those men that raped that innocent, helpless woman¹³, but don’t stand there, trying to poke my eyes out and expect me not to defend myself. And if the eye gouging gets too insistent, do not expect friendly counters.

Note:

I am talking about hypocrisy here, of course. If there was any doubt.
This is perhaps the oldest, most naïve, and dumbest argument I have heard for a pro-feminism stance.
I say “perhaps” because there isn’t really a way for us to find that out. Unless we find ourselves magically transformed into (or remotely viewing) an Amazonian civilization.
Female Sexual Abuse
I do not care what label of feminism you identify with. Neo or not, feminism is feminism.
It is Bombay. Fuck you to the self-proclaimed keepers of India’s future. Or lack of it.
Yes, laws can be made, with a bent towards affirmative action. Renuka Chaudhary, or as I like to refer to her, sexist bitch extraordinaire, has successfully done so with the Domestic Violence act. And yet, not the slightest of mutterings from these egalitarian feminists I am told exist. Seems kind of like the flying spaghetti monster.
A term I have coined, for there is a lacking of such. An Andro-feminist, is a male feminist lobbyist, either actively, or passively. These are men that have been so brainwashed into thinking themselves unworthy, sexist pigs, that they cannot rationally form an argument, unless their wives/mothers/sisters etc. tell them so.

Full Post Here
http://india_resource.tripod.com/caste-quotas.html
“A humanities professor at IIT-Mumbai tried to argue that because "merit" isn't applied uniformly in the socio-economic sphere in India, one ought not be too perturbed over its sacrifice in India's centrally-funded institutions of higher learning. Moreover, he argued that merit was a concept that was "over-emphasized" because it was so fraught with human subjectivity and contextual sensitivities that it wasn't really possible to truly determine who was "meritorious" anyway. Jayati Ghosh (a British-educated JNU academic in the Prime Minister's Knowledge Commission) was cynically dismissive of the merit argument, opining that the IITs weren't institutions of merit anyway presumably because a Chinese study (of rather limited value and significance) had determined that because the IITs had produced no Nobel Prize winners, they could not be considered as institutions of any international import. Even though Ms Ghosh is neither a scientist nor an engineer by training (and does not appear to be particularly familiar with the biased methodology that was used in the Chinese study) Ms Ghosh enjoys the luxury of being taken seriously because of her political connections with the CPM.”
An example of such a logical fallacy would be:
Benazir Bhutto, Mamata Bannerjee, Jayalalitha, and countless other female politicians are corrupt. Therefore female politicians are corrupt. Therefore an increased representation of women in parliaments will not reduce the corruption in the country.

This logical fallacy is called Fallacy of accident or Sweeping generalization. See ITY, you don’t just learn “bad” words here.
argumentum ad misericordiam
It is startling how easily women transform their images from strong, capable and “equal” to, helpless as need suits them. To the few women that have confided how unsafe they feel in the streets (of India, usually) and their fears of male aggression, I find the best solution is to recommend mace/pepper spray. However, all these women have, by way of one nonsensical argument or another, convinced themselves of how ineffectual that would be.

Female1: But what is common in most of my dreams is me, out on the roads all by myself…feeling so unsafe
TDD: Buy yourself a pepper spray?
Female1: I dont go out at night.

A Suitable Couplet

2010-04-18T22:13:00.003-05:00

I was commenting on a blog earlier today and I found my first Kakoli Couplet.

"Fuck male ego. Fuck pride.
Where is my multimillionaire bride?"

Scrambled Green Sleave

2010-04-18T14:55:00.002-05:00

My green sleave is fading away. But the scrambled green sleave I long for, grows stronger. I am addicted without being addicted, rejoicing without the need for ecstasy. I desire to burn it all to shreds, if only to rub your face in it.

Fuck You And Your 'Holiday'.

2010-02-13T09:24:00.002-06:00

For something that is an ambiguous concept at the best, Love takes up a lot of our time, a lot of air-time (even if we discount porn) and is the ultimate control mechanism in the modern era (second only to religion of course). The same could be said about hate, but that would only point to a double standard which the delusional are exceptional at promoting.

To make my point, every time Love gets a bad name, it is discounted as being Lust, greed (sure, money is never a motivation for love!), or something along the lines. The same rules are hardly applied to Hate. For instance, Terrorists around the world who purport acts that can make a rational human squirm (though I wish to make it clear, that you do not have to be completely rational to squirm at those actions) are labeled haters, when in reality, hate is just a mislabel by the above set guidelines. Some do it for Lust (I believe the promise of 72 virgins in heaven is sufficient proof), some for greed, perhaps some out of jealousy, but the pure instinct of hate is rarely witnessed.

Perhaps, it is never witnessed because it does not exist in the sense we hope it does. It is rather easy to defeat one emotion, to rationalize it away than to find yourself a half-dozen new ones, each with their own set of underlying conditions. But that is only the negative motive. The positive motive, by the same token, pure Love is rarely witnessed. If we discount the love of a parent for their child as being their evolutionary objective (if you do not agree with that statement and/or do not believe in evolution at all, you are obviously quite lost, and might I suggest getting back to Google and restarting your journey), a particular specimen of “Love” can quite easily be inspected and dissected into sexual desire, the need for companionship, attachment aka conditioning aka a child’s love for its parents and therefore invalidate Love as a singular by the same rules that invalidate Hate.

The argumentative will choose to see my attempt at making Hate seem more glorious than it is, but it is quite certainly an attempt to level the two up, since they are on the same level. They are true opposites and therefore set into battle by the memes of our culture and our kind.

As you might have guessed, this is my long drawn out attempt at a Fuck you to Valentine’s Day.

In parting, I leave you with the mind of Aaron T Beck, psychiatrist, researcher and author who in his scientific capacity calls love a mania.

In Defense of the Critic

2009-07-03T08:46:00.023-05:00

Being a critic is a thankless job, most often. I admire real life critics who do it for a living. After all, it is the ultimate “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” profession¹. You are always going to hurt someone, cross someone off. Let me get straight to the point, for once, and only just this once.

I was accused, recently, of criticizing things far too much, having no authority in the fields I am criticizing people for, and while that is completely true, the premise is utter bullshit.

For the sake of coherence, which I doubt too many of my readers are comfortable with, I will go about this in logical sequence, another thing brainwashed sheep have difficulty doing. Having accepted the criticism that I have no authority in the fields I choose to criticize people in, the proposition on the table is that I should graciously accept defeat and cease any further attempts at criticizing things I do not understand. Well, I am willing to accept that proposition, but only as long as my one condition is met, and anyone with half a rational brain (again, it would appear I am singing to the tone deaf) would agree that what I am about to suggest isn’t too unfair.

So, all those of you, anxious to know the key to shutting me up, hear me well. The same rules must apply to you as well. Since none of you are authorities on music, movies, literature, politics, cars and practically everything under the sun, YOU HAVE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP as well. When you stop opining about how good the latest Michael Bay fiasco is, or how good Ledger’s joker was (oh, what a bitter-sweet was that is), or how great Michael Jackson’s mediocre song and dance styles really are (if you take out the pop out of it), then I will follow suit. When you admit that you have no basis to be showering laurels on these sorry excuses for “artists” and that you will forever purse your lips regarding your personal attempts to glorify these people, I will lay down my pen.

Before I end, I must clear the air. My comments on my facebook status message etc, about the mediocrity of the pedophilic Michael Jackson as an artist, were hardly to stir shit up. That is my true opinion. Would the world have lost out if Michael never sung a single note? Not mine. And while it is politically incorrect to diss the dead, I have never cared for being politically correct. So here is a big fuck you to Michael Jackson fans, and a vehement fuck you to Sacha Baron Cohen and Universal for bending over backwards. If you can’t handle the witty and not so witty snipes at “MJ” (funny, how that is so similar to OJ) then don’t fucking watch TV, don’t visit my blog and definitely DO NOT click on this next link.

Another contribution of MJ to pop-culture is definitely his contribution to costume design on movie sets, having inspired the alien in M. Shyamalan's Signs and the instantly noticeable Joker, from the crap-chute that was The Dark Knight.

Yes Michael, I know “You’re bad”. Now if we can only get rid of the Catholic Church, the kids will be safe.

And for those looking for a moment of sensitivity, Billy Mays just died last month as well. He will be missed. He did have a soothing voice. Or he just nagged the fuck out of you till you bought something. But he will still be missed by me; Funny guy.

Unfortunately, the professional critics are just whored out publicists. I have yet to come across a decent review of a “mega-hype” movie that does justice to the profession, whether it be favorable or not.
I was thinking about calling this post, “Fuck You, Michael Jackson”. Only one thing prevented me. The possibility that he really was a pedophile and that a title like that might be insensitive to the plight of the kids whose lives MJ touched.

Red, White and Brown Nosed

2009-05-10T17:53:00.007-05:00

For a man that makes his living off stereotypes, Russell Peters does not notice the dichotomy of assaulting the media for using stereotypes for furthering agendas and propagandas. But for those people that like intelligent humor, be it the wit and sarcasm of Yes, Minister, or… the wit and sarcasm of George Carlin, you will instantly notice the fallacy of Peters’ chosen words. He is a part of the media. But unfortunately his ignorance is shown by his inability to take part of the blame, or it just shows his hypocrisy.

In his “new” act, “Red, White and Brown”, Russell Peters claims to have found himself a new voice; retiring old jokes. As usual, his act is confused as he shuttles between his identity of a North American and his “cheap” accented brown identity, and in that we can take solace, that Russell Peters is Indian, not just genetically, but even culturally.¹ He is a true hypocrite; One that would do Mother India proud.

Russell Peters is a cult comedian, like George Lopez, or Dane Cook, mediocre comedians targeting fringe audiences and cults that they have cultivated. Perhaps with respect to the specifics of the jokes Peters is “fresh” but considering the subject matter remains the same as his earlier acts (same jokes about Indian cheapness, about Chinese accents, about Italian machismo…). And while there is some humor to be found even in repetition, it can only go so far. If Red, White and Brown weren’t advertised as a “new act”, perhaps this would be a good extension of his earlier acts… and amusing². However, this blatant attempt to beguile audiences or just his ignorance as to what constitutes a “new act” takes out some of the fun of watching a mediocre comedian.

After all, it doesn’t hurt if you are eating an egg salad sandwich, knowing that it is an egg salad sandwich and nothing more. But when you are served an egg salad sandwich, all while you were expecting smoked salmon, then it is just disingenuous; and you have every right to take it as an insult to your intelligence. After all, you just paid for something more!

P.S. I watched it on YouTube; “The new home of piracy”.

NB:

Peter’s attempts to make the distinction between his genetically derived Indian-ness, such as his skin color, his physical attributes versus Indian personality traits (which he claims not to have) is a large part of the act as he discusses his trip to India. It is only laughable that he does not notice how he undermines his own point!

Notice the distinction between amusing and funny. A good knock-knock joke is funny. Repeating a good joke over and over again, is at best… amusing.

Fuck Leno

2009-05-03T09:28:00.013-05:00

I’ve been watching a lot of Leno the last few days, and suddenly it dawned on me, the similarities between Simi Garewal and the slimy rich fuck that is Leno. Leno is the biggest ass kisser I have ever seen. He makes Jon Stewart seem like an investigative journalist. Wait, that isn’t fair; Lou Dobbs makes Jon Stewart and The Daily Show seem like a news show; I didn’t mention O’Reilly or Limbaugh, because that’s a circus. That is where I will be taking my kids after the elephants and the lions are extinct.

Anyway, back to Leno and his ass-wipe of a show. Is it me or do the audience at Leno’s “Tonight Show” laugh and applaud every damn fucking thing, even when it isn’t funny. The “awws” from the audience makes me think they will fit right in at a screening of Full House. But I digress again. Leno had the chance to interview Broke Obama and Con-doleezza Rice; and throughout the interview, the only thing I noticed was that his big fucking chin couldn’t be found; because it was stuck up their ass.

But what was more pathetic was when he was kissing this dumb broads ass on his show (Emma Roberts, for the Google perverts). While he had his head stuck up this barely legal chick, and she was making fun of Paul Giammati for being old, all I could think of was, let’s see where you are when you are as fucking old as him (btw, the only thing different about her being 18 is that men in basements with beer bellies could finally jerk off to her images in public. I am currently looking for a basement and free beer.)

Back to Leno though, Leno, the thoughtful, empathetic guy who worries about the crises faced by America and its middle class; the guy who does two free shows in Detroit to lighten up the days of a few people who are facing financial hardships. Fuck that, I can’t do it. Give me a couple hundred classic and super cars and I’ll be a fucking asshole 365 days a year – for free.

To those that think this is just another angry rant (well, it is that, but not just), this is who Leno thinks is worthy of interviewing (resting on the laurels of an Obama interview¹); Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Dennis Rodman, Lisa Lampanelli, Emma Roberts, Frank Calliendo, “cast” of American Idol, Bill Mays and John Cena (in the last two weeks). I omitted some names, for instance, the saving grace, Michael Caine. And just to prop up a benchmark, a network that is predominantly a comedy network, whose sister networks include Nickelodeon and MTV in that same period, interviewed Michael J Fox, Tom Zoellner, Peter Orszag, Seth Rogen, Bruce Springsteen (yes, the dirty black blots on this list), Jack Cafferty, Nandan Nilekani, Gen. Richard Myers and Jim Cramer.

And all this thanks to NBC; the worst network to date; worse than Star Plus and their Saas Bahu serials. Wait! You can’t make me pick between the two. I would much rather light a match to my pubic hair. I would much rather tweeze every single hair off my body; I would much rather watch Sarah Palin become President of USA. Can we bomb the US then using the “Bush Doctrine”?

Edit:

Sometimes Jon Stewart's jokes are created out of thin air; so much so that the audience does not notice. You can't possibly expect something that hasn't been rehearsed. Take this play with words for instance.

Talking about "pestilence and fear in the modern world" with Philip Alcabes (with AIDS as the talking point):

"I'm wearing a condom right now, on the show. I've been wearing it since 1987... Has a couple of holes in it, but I'm working through it."
- Jon Stewart

NB.

1. I think it is perfectly fair to mention here that Obama seems to be nothing more than a media whore at the moment, and would be on my blog if I had a few million readers, and answer questions about how he would avoid drinking India’s “newly developed” Coca Cowla, if it ever became the “state drink”.

2. This was written on the 7th of April.

3. How to make Leno less lame?

4. Things some guy hates ABOUT Leno.

Pissing In The Wind

2009-03-03T15:22:00.007-06:00

Holy Coca Co(w)la. The Colas are doomed!

India is the land of useless regulation. We are world leaders in double standards and NO standards. A blog I visit, recently had a post about how Indian products make unsubstantiated claims, which in first world countries would be unacceptable. But in the land of hindutva¹, hypocrisy and lack of regulation make a perfect couple and no valentine's day for them either.

So what is the connection between colas and Indian hypocrisy? Not the pesticide thing… I really don't care about that. So if the pesticide scandal and the prospect of impending fatality are not big enough to bring a multinational corporation down, then what is? Piss. Yes, urine, and not just any urine, the blessed and holy piddle emanating from the saviors of the world, beef. This wee-wee is being branded by none other than the saviors of bharat mata, the RSS. As if the great Indian rope trick, images of free roaming elephants and dung laden streets weren't bad enough for urban India, now this.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are "doctors" and "scientists" that claim "research" on cow urine therapy has been performed to demonstrate its effectiveness.

"Our Aim is...
Our main aim and objective is to prevent and cure most of the diseases by applying a totally natural and highly effective new concept. We will be pround if we will be able to give some Relief to this world. We are trying to follow the path of serving humanity shown by God. We are trying to make this therapy much more simple and feasible."

In the face of this fundamentalist ignorance, I quote the words of my Goan brothers², "Aamcha Feni aamka jai, tujha mut tu pee" (roughly translated: "We want our feni, you drink your piss").

But before I end this post, I have a few questions. Will golden showers stop being a fetish in India and be part of the rejuvenation regiment? I guess you don't have to worry about taking a whiz in a pool anymore.

1. Hindutva isn't the only one I think is guilty of this hypocrisy, for the record.

2. I have never found any record of anyone having said this. As far as I know, the only person that has ever used this phrase is my uncle, Vijay Bijur. Therefore I attribute this to him.

His "story" goes like this. The slogan was raised by the goans during the prohibition era of Morarji Desai, who claimed that the reason of his good health was that he drank his own piss. As far as I know, this is a fabrication of his brilliant mind.

Holy Wars

2009-02-23T14:21:00.004-06:00

“In a short space of time all the people in the Delhi fort were put to the sword, and in the course of one hour the heads of 10,000 infidels were cut off. The sword of Islam was washed in the blood of the infidels, and all the goods and effects, the treasure and the grain which for many a long year had been stored in the fort became the spoil of my soldiers.”

Taken from the Tuzk-e-Taimuri‎, Timur’s (alleged) memoirs recount a fateful day of “ethnic cleansing” as he looted and plundered and amassed wealth and a haraam harem. I could see Timur being an egotistical, religious maniac, exaggerating his escapades to sound impressive; to furnish a permanent place in the annals of lunatic murderers. But in spite of his bloated ego, Timur’s intent is clear. The infidels must be purged. Allah’s will be carried out.

Elsewhere, less than a couple of centuries away, the French Religious wars raged on, 36 years, probably desensitizing a couple of generations of brie lovers to violence. The culture shock the French must have faced was thankfully short lived. Nearby, less than 20 years later, the Germans and the British would start one of their own wars based on their inability to agree on the details of what god “instructed” some random asshole on some remote mountain over a millennium ago. Over these 66 years… and one day, an estimated 15.6 Million people would be wasted away at god’s command¹.

Almost instinctively, the apologist is certain to point fingers at the murderous tendencies of prominent “atheist” mad men, Hitler² and Stalin³. While this argument has swiftly and effectively been rebutted by the “four horsemen”, I choose to show that the genocides and wars that raged from religious and theistic impetus have been far more gory, gruesome, blood curdling than the major wars of the 20^th century, The World Wars.

In comparison, the two world wars overshadow the two major religious wars (that I can recall) by sheer volume of cadavers. With conservative estimates of 19 and 40 million chronologically, they far outyield the 15 million estimated of the religious wars.

Tanks, mines, missiles, gunships, bombers, fighter planes, submarines, and of course, Fat Man and Little Boy have made the body count of the world war’s possible; making wars a little more impersonal in the 20^th century. The days of staring into the eyes of the enemy had been left behind in the medieval ages, to those who could stomach the blood and gore; to the pious. Technology in battle had the ability to delay the effect of battle, the effect waste of human life can have on a rational mind, only bringing it to the foreground post mortem.

But what the religious wars lose in body count, they make up for in sheer callousness and underestimation of human life. Staring into the enemy’s eyes, day after day, for decades together, mercilessly slaughtering, is a task that the religious masses seem to effortlessly pull off and master. Only god knows what devastation these armies would be capable of, if they had the resources of the 20^th century, with enough enemy bodies as in the 20^th century⁴.

1. These remain just the most obvious, bloody, and patent representations of religious violence. James Haught recounts other atrocities that have been committed by religion and the pious.

2. Hitler’s religious beliefs are still highly debated, and to this day, attempts to prove his atheistic ideology have been inconclusive. However, Hitler was a practicing Roman Catholic and remained one until his death.

There is an obvious rebuttal to this point of mine, and I will preempt it by offering my rebuttal, saving us some time.

Many claim that Hitler, an irreligious man (at least one who was against Christianity in his heart), used his ties with the roman catholic church to gain the sympathies of the catholics and protestants, and was nothing more than shrewd confidence trick. Having said that, it was the above mentioned churches that lent credibility to Hitler among the people of Germany, and more importantly, they were not against the bloodshed and means of the Nazis and Hitler. So as co-conspirators, the above mentioned churches are just as guilty as Hitler’s ideology (whatever it may be).

3. Hector Avalos, a scholar of the Bible, has in his book “Fighting Words: The Origins of Religious Violence” claimed that Stalin “had a complex relationship with religious institutions in the Soviet Union.” I say claimed, as I have not read the book myself and rely on a source, while not completely reliable, certainly no worse than the monkey work contained in certain other texts.

4. The world population and its explosion has been a primarily 20^th century phenomenon. During the period of the two world wars, the population rose from about 1.5 billion to 2.5 billion, in spite of the massive bloodshed in the two wars, of 131 million or 0.131 billion, or more importantly 6.5 percent of the mean population. While the world population during the 100 year period of the two religious saw a negligible rise from 427,000,000 to 500,000,000 and the death toll at 3.5 percent.

While that figure might seem to indicate the brutality of the world wars, it is limited, as almost all statistics are by the “big picture”. The big picture here shows of a zealous war, fought with no major technological assistance, in just a small portion of the earth (the world wars were fought by 35 and 68 countries compared to a handful during the two medieval wars).

Gun Shy

2009-02-13T14:54:00.006-06:00

"There is no reason for anyone in the country, for anyone except a police officer or a military person, to buy, to own, to have, to use, a handgun. The only way to control handguns use in this country is to prohibit the guns. And the only way to do that is to change the Constitution."

-- Michael Gartner

NY Times: Daily gun deaths in USA

Gun control is probably one of the most controversial debates in current day United States. After LGBT rights, abortion and possibly the death penalty, gun control is probably the most hotly debated issue. A pacifist for as long as I have thought about this question, everything seemed black and white. People for the right to bear arms have always struck me as a little crazy.

My first experience with a handgun was not so long ago. Even though it wasn’t loaded, the safety was on, I felt a bit like a geeky teen at the prom, just approached by the prettiest girl; apprehensive, panicky and definitely sweaty. I was silently relieved when the firearm was put back into its gun safe. Okay, not so silently. I even made it a point to vocally point out how uncomfortable I was, if my body language hadn’t already betrayed the fact.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always been in reverence of handguns. During my high school years (Junior college back home) I was quite the gun enthusiast, admiring their inherent beauty, while awestruck at their immeasurable power, but always too much of a pussy to ever venture into the real world of guns. Forensic science and firearm forensics especially, held me captivated. Fortunately, I told myself, firearms let go that strangling grip, of an invention that definitely would have been the end of me, and from a career that would definitely be a dead end. My knowledge of firearms, therefore, always remained nascent and underdeveloped.

It has been said that fear always springs from ignorance. It could be argued that this was the case with me and firearms. They would be right. I was soon to re-discover and re-think firearms; though not as blue eyed as my teen self. Having been on the Pro-gun control side of the issue, the arguments for gun control were sufficiently convincing to me. After all, who needs more guns in the hands of the corrupters of society?

But things would turn gray soon. Thanks in part to an “indie” movie that I accidentally came across (a sign from god? *^%K, I’m republican) tackling the very issue of gun control. Dear Wendy, probably one of the most hated movies (because it is “ideologically doctrinaire on the one hand and a wannabe hot youth movie on the other”) seemed to make sense to me. I guess I am THAT insane. The movie is about a pacifist youth, exploring guns, his fascination for it, and the eventual demise of his pacifist views when he is forced to use his guns, and on the law too!

People dislike this movie, because it is supposedly anti 2^nd amendment, and “talks about an issue the filmmakers know nothing about”, but for some reason I found it the exact opposite (again, only cranial misfirings to blame). The movie was a romanticized commentary on perceptions of guns, pacifism, pacifism and guns, their incompatibility etc. And for me, it began the dreaded thought process of the “morality” of gun culture.

While the movie had barely begun to make me think, barely budging me out of my comfort zone, another incident would force me on a fast track to reconsider my stance. The Mangalore Pub incident (where 40 politically backed psychopaths violently evacuated a pub of all its women, while battering them and assaulting any men that came to their aid, all in the name of Indian culture, while media and law enforcement paraded and silently witnessed, respectively) while initially leaving me unaffected and unruffled, as my capacity to withstand Indian stupidity and idiocy was assumedly at its limits; would soon turn to shock and squeamishness, as I witnessed the videos of the act. This was further compounded by the reactions to the incident, which I thought Indians would unanimously find revolting. What I was to discover, painted a very different India, from the one I was exposed to, during my formative years in three of India’s four metropolitans.

Apart from an unprecedented culture shock (one that I didn’t even notice when I first stepped onto US soil), these incidents forced me to empathize, (not with the women, for that would be patronizing) with the men that tried to protect their women (be it sister, girlfriend or just out of humanitarian kinship). I was forced to relive the scenario, for the terrible fear that gripped me, warned me of my unpreparedness for such an eventuality. “What would you do under these circumstances?”

The answer would not come, possibly because I really was unprepared, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. And being as physically advantaged as I am, there was no recourse in sight. That is when I came across Thomas Jefferson’s own views over guns. He opined that guns (as a symbol of power) are necessary for every citizen to hold onto, not to shoot down their neighbors dog, but to make sure no one else gets to shoot him down, or his rights.

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.
--- Thomas Jefferson to Peter Carr, 1785.

It can be argued, and rightly so, that Jefferson was in an era of the Wild West, where an honor code was sufficient to keep people from killing each other, which has been eroded away by people and, I hypothesize, their religion. In fact, since we are quoting Jefferson, here are some more, to get some perspective:

We may consider each generation as a distinct nation, with a right, by the will of its majority, to bind themselves, but none to bind the succeeding generation, more than the inhabitants of another country.

"We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

--Thomas Jefferson to Samuel Kercheval, 1816.

While the debate in America is a lot more complicated than Jefferson could have visualized, with all the (religious) nuts that roam around freely, I feel that India, which is in this regard more than a 100 years behind it’s time (arguably more), is yet to embark upon its true revolution. We are yet to fight for our freedom, and show that we will not stand for an aggressor, whether it is from within the state or from outside of it. All Gandhi did, was show to the world that we have the capacity to withstand immeasurable amounts of cruelty and injustice. And while Gandhi’s non-violence might have earned us some brownie points in international opinion, on our non-violent and non-aggressive stances, it has long been nullified with the history of violence since then. It is time; I think, that Indian’s re-evaluate their stance on guns. It is time we lose our sheepish naiveté, our misplaced mistrust of guns and our indoctrinated fear of revolutions.

A Bitter Jealous Post

2008-11-09T19:03:00.003-06:00

We are a species obsessed with instant gratification. From the Who Wants to be a Millionaire syndrome to the theist worshipers, everyone wants to get something that they are not willing to work for.

But we have started taking instant gratification to new extremes. The 15 minutes of fame syndrome, brought to its pinnacle, nay, summit (which has been diluted in meaning thanks to all the summit meetings of the bureaucracy), by the likes of youtube and dailymotion, lending credibility to talentless fucks, or demigods born out of pure showmanship (and hardly peer reviewed). But I kept telling myself, it didn’t matter; all the attention they were getting was useless in a world that runs on money, and in a world that forgets these under-achievers as swiftly as they created them (remember N’ Sync?).

But what happens when these acts of infantile imbecility provide with credible monetary gains? What do (ir?)-rational hardworking people do, when they see someone work half as hard (if at all) and living their dreams? I am talking, of course, about Matt, of “Where the hell is Matt” fame.

Sure, all you blue eyed, youtube yuppies and junkies and whatever else’s will be quick to jump to his aid, defending his intentions to be noble, enamored by the other worldly music of his videos, proving my point once again.

For a person who claims to be doing this for the thrill and enjoyment of traveling and soaking in cultures and all that nice sounding stuff, tell me, what would the purpose of publishing a video and a website be? Oh, you don’t think it is for the monetary gain that instant (if even fleeting) stardom brings? Well, Stride gum, is a sponsor. Guess what sponsors do? They pay you money. What for? Hmmm… lets see… putting a small little link to their website on your site and videos, mentioning them a few times in your travels, perhaps passing on a few sticks of gum even, heck whatever gets the name out there.

Oh yes, there is the inevitable argument, “so what if he gains from his previous journeys?”. Well, what is wrong, is the fact that there are at least a handful of people out there that are doing the same sans the retarded dance, but you don’t see them getting sponsorship deals!

I will end with a disclaimer; this is not a shot at the “shooting stars” that the internet breeds, it is a reflection of the society that allows mediocrity to breed. We create stars out of nobodies, and revel at our ability and achievement at having done so, while letting the true achievers fade away silently, unnoticed. And to the naïve that ask, “what harm is coming of it?”; we harm ourselves by the propagation of the phenomenon, by making “future generations” think that it is somehow more glorious to be remembered for something unoriginal, something marketed, outwardly glossy and substantially tepid, than to push the limits of our human intelligence.

Butter-fry Effect.

2008-10-04T10:43:00.008-05:00

The insignificant flutter of a butterfly’s wings on the remotest corners¹ of the earth may be elemental in the production of large disasters. The mystique of cause-effect relationships that seem outwardly unconnected is explained by the butterfly effect. But so potent is this perception that its agents are visible in every facet of our lives, on every avenue.

Even so, on my first work related “road trip”, leaving as early as 5 A.M. for Wisconsin, the work of this miraculous agent was quite visible.

Road trips have often been a topic of Hollywood flicks, from the absurdly retarded Road Trip series to much more endearing dramas, these movies offer a snapshot into country America.

As dissociated as events in some of these movies may be to real life, they mimic life in the most uncanny of ways. They cross barriers, geographic, cultural and perhaps even economic. I am, of course, talking about “rest stops”.

But as we stopped for breakfast, the reality of the butterfly effect and its unpleasant bedfellow; globalization, dawned on me. The oasis we had breakfast at a glaring example of the adulteration of our modern day lives by the whorifying enabler of globalization; Consumerism. With McDonalds at the right, taco bell to the left and everything in between a sampling of the finest in franchise cuisine America has to offer. As we embrace the gifts of globalization, the cost-cutting it affords us, we choose to ignore the local businesses that rely on our continued patronage for survival.

But in our pursuit of wealthiness, we have let slip the very essence that made those movies endearing. The small town cafes, bistros, pancake houses, moronically replaced by corporate food cloners that serve only to stifle the creativity that makes us unique, the servers grudgingly serving a daily dish of rude awakening. As we pinch pennies, filling the coffers of big business, we pay the ultimate price as we let them control our lives, our choices, our individualism; and effectively our freedom. I guess this fast paced life will overwhelm the abilities of our generation to sample the diversity of human evolution as we zombify our very existence.

Note:
1. A turn of phrase, obviously, originating in the day of old world "knowledge" where the earth was flat. Just as we keep the phrase and its intended meaning in spite of dispelling the darkening myth that gave birth to it, so it isn't entirely inconceivable for an atheist like me to use common phrases of language that invoke the imaginary supernatural being that supposedly gave birth to all that exists.

You have been warned. The next person to question the hypocrisy of using these phrases gets punched in the face.

Random Rant #149

2008-09-13T20:38:00.005-05:00

Every man that wears a beard is Saddam. It’s true. I’ve heard it so many times; it has to be true. In fact, with my brown skin and beard, all that is missing is a chain of 7-Eleven’s to make me the stereotypical Islamic fundamentalist (or my yellow taxi cab)! But then I make up for that with all the bazookas that I play along with all day. I guess I’ll keep it for now, the beard that is (I have to leave my bazookas at the door).

Where Is That Damn Pencil?

2008-09-11T20:02:00.005-05:00

I realized something today. There is never a pencil around when you need one, or a pen! For that matter, there is never anything sharp around when you want it.

Have you ever been forced to be within a closed room (or public transport) with a bunch of WHITE, early teen, high school, Legally Blonde wannabes? Let me tell you, it is "like" worse than getting hit by a bus… and living through it. It is worse than having your head shoved into your butt, worse than getting your head shaved… with a pair of tweezers. It is worse than pulling out your finger nails straight out. It is worse than having a raving, religious lunatic preach about god and the bible, about good and evil, about vice and virtue, about damnation and salvation. Wait, that last one isn’t true. I would know. And there you have it, another moment I wished I had a pencil.

                             Image by Fernando Graphicos

An Idiot for the idiot box!

2008-09-07T23:20:00.006-05:00

Television for a few years now (perhaps even a decade) has shown us why it has earned the name, Idiot Box. It probably has something to do with the fact that it makes idiots out of us. So well is this fact documented that a movie Idiocracy was made to predict our future, as witty satire. But it did achieve another feat, aside from the one already mentioned. It proved how much they can dumb down television (which includes movies for me) for mass consumption, if there ever was a doubt with Spartans, the Scary Movie series, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie…

But then television loves to prove to us how fucked up our society really is, be it a “wardrobe malfunction” (read nipple slip) at the super bowl, or a “celebrity malfunction”. I am sure I could spend another 15 minutes and find a few more, but this isn’t the point of today’s post.

This post is dedicated to the cinematic abyss that is Indian television. And no, I won’t be taking potshots at our “saas-bahu”¹ soap operas, even though I am tempted. It would be far too easy. I will however let the funniest words ever to be uttered on television speak for itself.

Talking about this incident, a friend commented, "Indian television was just lame before this incident, now it is American".

I won’t ruin the fun for those of you that haven’t already seen or heard of this abomination and will let you watch the video and make up your own mind. I don’t think a rational human being will need much prodding. All I want to know is what able minded individual thinks the guy deserves it? And to those that have to ask what I think, I say, he didn’t hit her hard enough.

Side note: It is imperative to indicate that the genre of satire is not defined by these sorry box office excuses for cinema. There happen to be classics like Yes Minister, The Family Guy, just to drop a few names.

Olympic Dreams

2008-09-07T10:54:00.008-05:00

With the end of the Beijing Olympics (yes I know it ended some time back), there are those that are reveling in the pseudo-national pride that comes with your nation performing, however lack luster, at the big event; ecstatic at our performances in shooting, wrestling and boxing, Indian sports fans and the above mentioned pseudo-patriots are going crazy with accolades. At the other end of the spectrum there are the critics that either can’t/won’t take anything positive from it or are just inclined to finding the cloud that carries the silver lining.

The medal trio is enjoying the adulation being poured in on them, while the other athletes either disappear into obscurity or get back to training for the next event of their season. But that sounds just like the India I left two years back, where effort goes unnoticed, hard work and dedication sidelined by the Indian publics need for instant gratification.

But let us leave them for the moment and concentrate on our critics. Just 3 medals from a billion strong? Or how about the fact that countries the size of Estonia, or ones with political strife like Zimbabwe manage to win more medals than us?

"We are the world’s biggest democracy, the second most populous country in the world. Then why is that in a span of 4 years, we are only able to produce 57 top athletes?"
Source: http://www.iwebie.com/indias-2008-beijing-olympics-dreams

But these comparisons are simplistic. Canada, the second largest country finished just 19^th, and Indonesia, with the 4^th largest population did worse than the aforementioned politically handicapped nation. This just goes to prove, your size, population or wealth has no bearing on how well you will do at the Olympics or any large sporting event for that matter.

"This is a matter of national shame, an aspect that the Indian Govt. needs to look at closely."
Source: http://www.iwebie.com/indias-2008-beijing-olympics-dreams

This sentiment is highly reflective of Indian behavior, our need to shirk off responsibility and redirect blame. It isn’t the government that is to blame. It is the Indian public. A nation, taking a crap on Rathore, without even knowing what the reason for his poor performance might have been. And even if there is no reason, I believe our medal winners (and prospects) deserve a little more respect than they are currently being shown

But what irks me more than everything else Indians do is the fact that some of these critics aren’t too appreciative of the fact that our medal winners are getting the attention that they are currently receiving.

"Now lets move our focus towards the sportsmen themselves. Vijender Kumar has already started talking in terms of modeling. Sushil Kumar seems to be completely over the moon. Its obvious that these people have started losing their focus even before their actual journey has commenced. At a time when they should start concentrating on the Commonwealth Games, India's so called medal winners are everywhere except for where they should be."
Source: http://www.intheorbit.com

Note: They are not “so-called” winners.

Well, it is alright when those douche bags get coke and Pepsi deals, isn’t it? I find nothing wrong with the Indian sportsmen and women cashing in on their newfound and (possibly) short lived fame due to their “so-called” Olympic triumphs. After all we are a fickle nation with no regard for our sports heroes. Maybe you will remember some of our athletes that had to sell their medals¹from other events in order to survive. Or maybe you do not. But that is our nature. And it is this nature that has dawned on these three men and they deserve to make the best of what they have now. May they never have to worry about selling their hard earned medals.

But all this begs the question, who is to blame; when our system rewards performances after results and provides no impetus (different from incentives) for our athletes (cricketers aren't athletes in my opinion). I don’t have the answer, and I don’t think Indians really care either. The question will be put on the back burner until a few months before the 2012 Olympics.

But all this doesn’t hold a candle to the final and most absurd accusation, one that pisses me off so much that I believe that anyone that dare make such an accusation deserves castration; and that is for the lack of time to construct an appropriate torture that matches the blasphemy. It is said that the reason we had so many ‘flakers’ these Olympics was due to the fact that they lack passion. To those cricket loving douche bags that know not true passion when they see it, I hope you rot in the world’s dirtiest cesspool

I don’t see how they can levy this accusation, with reasonable seriousness, when our sportsmen who toil in their respective sports even though the chances of any glory are minimal, even if they do bring in the results (Karnam Malleswari won a few lakhs for her bronze and some Arjuna Award or some titular facade). Most of them toil in their sports into obscurity. Few have heard of the gallant sportsmen who fight so that we may one day have an Abhinav Bindra or an Akhil Kumar.

India doesn’t deserve the medals these young men and women bring in. And while I will be hurt if we continue to perform as we have in the past, I believe the Indian nation deserves nothing more.

1 Poverty crushes spirit of weightlifters.

Pradhan Mantri Mayawati

2008-09-02T22:51:00.003-05:00

Yes, India is a technical superpower. We are The IT nation. Our IT services are so brilliant that American companies outsource these jobs in spite of the negative publicity it generates. So wonderful are they that they are a 6 billion dollar industry, contributing to over 7 percent of our GDP and 35% of our exports.

Apparently there aren’t any BSP supporters who can code. No, they can’t hire our wonderful IT professionals and programmers to build themselves a functioning website. Wait a minute, dalits can’t read, can they? That must be it; they are so impoverished and illiterate that a website would serve no purpose!

Rest in Peace, My Love!

2008-09-01T15:41:00.010-05:00

My 500 gig external hard disk died on me a few days back, just as I was about to load a movie I had backed up on it. I spent a little over 2 hours trying to figure out if I could revive it somehow, even if briefly to transfer all my saved files, or just the important ones. Along with my movie collection, I lost all my music and all my saved files from when I had formatted my laptop last.

Now, I’m usually quite unorganized, so I have no clue about what files I had on them. I felt a little saddened at this loss, because I had spent a lot of time tagging my music collection. I’d spend an hour or two every week as and when I could spare it to tag my collection, rate them and make play lists. Not to mention the more important files.

But what I didn’t expect was the reaction of people. The first people that found out about this “sudden loss” were my roommates and a few friends. Their tones were grave and almost condolent, with one sounding like I had lost a family member or close friend. I joked about the reaction wondering why it had evoked such a reaction.

However, a few minutes ago, another friend, responded in the same manner, in a chat conversation when I broke the news.

TDD: oh... my external hdd conked out
lost all my data
and the hdd
Anon1: yikes
TDD: yeah
Anon1: how many movies was it?
TDD: I think that’s why I didn’t reply the last time
over 350
Anon1: uh-oh
am sorry

Now this seemed far from a coincidence. Too many people had reacted that way. Sure I was sad that it had conked out. Sure I would have to re-sort and re-tag all my audio files. Sure I will have to rebuild my collection without a clue as to what it included. But, people, let’s be realistic, it is only a bit of electronic equipment. All the files that I lost, I can re-acquire! We are truly in an age where malfunction of electronic equipment is a heartfelt loss. The expression of sorrow was probably more genuine than if it were the actual loss of life. We are truly desensitized, truly fucked.

Just Another Day...

2008-08-25T11:42:00.018-05:00

Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Independence Day, New Years Eve; I don’t attach too much stock to any of these. After all, they do come every year! And there is a reason for that. It’s called a calendar. The same goes for birthdays. So when people ask me what I have planned on my birthday, I usually give them an uncomfortable “I-don’t-know”. Uncomfortable, because I know they expect something generic; for instance, going out with my buddies to get drunk so I can’t distinguish vodka from grape juice.

I don’t need my birthday for that. Heck, I got drunk on some random day, at a party. Let’s call that my birthday and New Years Eve all rolled into one. Wait, it was New Years eve! But the point is birthdays are irrelevant. They were created by us, and I still don’t get the reason! Sure, it indicates we are getting older. But I’m older today than I was yesterday. Yay! Let’s go celebrate with some ice cream. Wait… I just did that.

Here is how birthday’s and New Years Eve are similar. It’s almost expected for people to look at the past year of their lives and introspect, relive good times and take notes on where to improve, which brings us to resolutions. After all life is a lesson right? And then there is of course dreaded milestones, be it quarter-life crises or Y2K.

Well this year I did just that, looked back on the year gone by. It has been a wonderful year, filled with so many lessons, and heart-warming experiences, some gastric delights, and some plain silly stuff. So here are the 10 most memorable moments that transpired during year 24 of my life.

In the spirit of the Olympics, let’s start with this one.

October 8, 2007 - Track and field star Marion Jones surrenders her five Olympic medals she won in the 2000 Sydney Games after admitting to doping.

Marion Jones got screwed. She surrendered her fucking medals; they should have taken away. She lost 5 Olympic medals and about fucking time. The only lesson to learn from this experience is; DON’T GET CAUGHT. Indian weightlifters are dumb. They get caught. Had they not gotten caught we’d have medals lined up on our walls too! So cut them some slack. When they ask you to pee in a cup next time, oblige. Don’t ask questions. It’s all in the Olympic spirit. But what takes the Birthday cake is the fact that the bitch was banned for 2 years. OH fucking really!! Is she planning on taking part in the senior citizens Olympics?

2. December 20, 2007 - A group of activist Lakota Indians send a letter to the United States State Department declaring their secession from the Union as the Republic of Lakotah.

This one is amazing. Mount Rushmore might end up in another country! If RoL succeeds; do they bring down Mount Rushmore the way the Americans brought down Saddam’s statue? I can’t wait.

3. November 5, 2007 - The Writers Guild of America goes on a strike that lasts until February 12, 2008.

For 3 months, no TV, no news. That’s not a lot of fun. Where would we get our news if it wasn’t for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report? To put things into perspective, I watched 27 Dresses. Yep, that’s how much the writer’s strike affected me.

4. April 22 - Surgeons at London's Moorfields Eye Hospital perform the first operations using bionic eyes, implanting them into two blind patients.

Robocop! Awesome! But in all seriousness, I’m glad scientists are figuring out how to stick it to the retarded religious creeps. Screw god’s mysterious ways. No wonder they don’t like stem cell research and genetic research. That’s probably all the proof any rational person needs… that THERE IS NO GOD!

5. November 1 - London's Metropolitan Police Service is found guilty of endangering the public following the fatal shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes, an innocent Brazilian whom officers mistook for a suicide bomber.

How do you mistake someone for a suicide bomber? This is a suicide bomber!

This however, is not

6. August 30 - 2007 United States Air Force nuclear weapons incident in which a B-52 flew from Minot AFB , ND to Barksdale AFB, LA carrying six nuclear warheads.

Whoops! Nuclear war anybody? Come on, it might be fun. In fact, it might be more fun than dying the slow death that we will eventually see.

7. September 6 - "Operation Orchard": an Israeli airstrike occurred against a suspected nuclear site in Syria

Oh… I didn’t realize that it was enough to blow another country up if you suspect them. That changes everything. Now all Russia needs to do is say they suspected Georgia of the same. Go Russia!

8. July 15–20 - World Youth Day takes place in Sydney, Australia. Pope Benedict XVI appears at the event.

Holy sodomy! I nearly had milk coming out of my nose when I read this. The pope with kids… do I need to paint a picture?

9. November 16 - Over 3,000 people are believed to have died after Cyclone Sidr hits Bangladesh, with the death toll expected to rise.

December 20 - An earthquake of magnitude 6.6 M_L hits the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand, causing one death and significant damage in the town of Gisborne.

October 20 – November 9 - Wildfires in Southern California result in the evacuation of more than 1,000,000 people and destroying over 1,600 homes and businesses.

September 19 - Typhoon Wipha hits Fuding, China. Authorities had evacuated over two million people prior to the storm's landfall.

September 4 - Northeast Nicaragua takes a direct hit from Hurricane Felix. The hurricane was a strong Category 5 storm when it reached the coast.

August 25 - Greek Prime Minister Kostas Karamanlis declares a national state of emergency after a series of devastating wildfires ravage western Peloponese and southern Euboea, killing 68 people.

August 18 - Typhoon Sepat makes landfall in eastern Taiwan.

August 18 - The remnants of Tropical Storm Erin re-strengthen into a tropical storm over Oklahoma, causing widespread flooding and wind damage.

August 21 - Hurricane Dean, a powerful Category 5 storm, slams into a largely evacuated Yucatán Peninsula of Mexico.

February 5–6 - A tornado outbreak, the deadliest in 23 years, kills 58 in the Southern United States.

March 25 - A 160-square-mile (414 km²) chunk of Antarctica's Wilkins Ice Shelf disintegrates, leaving the entire shelf at risk.

August 15 - An 8.0 earthquake strikes Peru, killing 512 people, injuring more than 1,500, and causing tsunami warnings in the Pacific Ocean.

January 25 - China's worst snowstorm since 1954 kills 133, delays traffic, and causes massive power outages in central and southern parts of the country.

May 3 - Over 133,000 in Burma/Myanmar are killed by Cyclone Nargis, the deadliest natural disaster since the Boxing Day Tsunami in 2004.

May 12 - Over 69,000 are killed in central China by an earthquake measuring 8.0M_w. The epicenter is 90 kilometers (55 miles) west-northwest of Chengdu.

June 14 - A 6.9 magnitude earthquake in Iwate Prefecture, Japan, kills 12 and injures more than 400.

June 22 - Typhoon Fengshen hits the Philippines and capsizes the ferry MV Princess of the Stars, leaving hundreds dead or missing.

Source: The International Emergency Disasters Database

Climate change? Nah, that’s just the biggest hoax perpetuated on the American people. All these disasters were just staged. Come on, you can’t really believe these incidents are true, can you? The only events that we can be SURE about are when there is NO ONE else around but a chosen few, like the passing down of the ten commandments on a mountain, or the first men walking on the moon. Nah, these are truly staged. After all, climate change has no evidence, but we did see the moon landing on TV!

10. December 25 - An escaped tiger at the San Francisco Zoo kills one person and injures two others.

That gastric delight I was talking about, mmm. I never said it was something I would eat (maybe I would)! And before anyone decides to jump down my throat, hear me out. It’s about fucking time those tigers eat some of those pesky little runts. First you take those tigers out of their habitat, then you put them in a little cage that is smaller than the one you have your newborns in, and then your little angels think it’s smart to tease, and agitate the animal by throwing their peanuts or rattling their cages. You know why kids today are dumb? It isn’t our education systems! It’s the fact that we don’t let natural selection take its course. What happened was natural selection at its best, 1 dumbass down, 6.5+ billion to go.

Incidents like these almost make me hope climate change fucks us up and spirals us into extinction.

(2 months ago) (in reply to this)

lionheart209

God gave man dominion over the animals. Peple need to carry weapons, legally of course. I'm a peace officer and carry an off duty weapon, had I been there, the tiger would have been shot upon reaching the outer gate.

An armed citizen is a safer citizen;)

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits

2008-07-30T15:48:00.007-05:00

If the title hasn’t already given it away, YOU are in for an education. And, incidentally, the wildest ride of your life. George Carlin was instrumental in my “atheist education”. Along with Richard Dawkins and a few others, Carlin has been enlightening… and witty.

No matter what the F.C.C. says, what the religious fundamentalists say, and no matter what the mommies of the world say, Shit, Piss Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits will forever live on, in that order, as the legacy of George Carlin.

Before I continue any further, may we all kneel down onto the floor for a moment of screaming and pray that George be kept safe, safe on that roof. May the roof be strong forever. And we pray that the sun god watch over him and keep him warm... and in the nights, Joe Pesci.

For most people, George Carlin was just an old ranting fart, but those that followed his work, and the luckier few that got to meet him and shake his unwashed hands, he shall forever remain etched in our memory.

George, hope you found your keys.

P.S. I had written this sometime end of June, but for some reason haven't posted it until now...

Dark Knight is a long way from home...

2008-07-30T13:56:00.006-05:00

The Dark Knight certainly picked up from where Batman Begins left off. The effort to make Batman more realistic, more plausible somehow seems to enhance the superhero genre, rather than take from it. Of course, some of it needs to be a little unrealistic; a stretch of the imagination, to remind the movie-goer that it is a comic book movie. I can accept blades coming out of wafer thin body armor, or a completely intact Batpod (I guess Bruce Wayne bought over Apple) from an absolute wreck of a Batmobile. But where the buck stops is when it violates basic physics and common sense.

Let’s talk about the Wayne High Definition Sonar Imaging systems.
A typical HD Sonar image can generate about 10Mbits of data per second. Let us assume the technology does not improve (else bandwidth requirements would certainly go up!) and a compression factor of 10. What we are expected to swallow, is that your phone will be transferring over a 100KB of data per second to the Wayne manor and NO ONE notices! People browsing the stock tickers on yourstock.com don’t notice dip in speeds, and more unbelievable, the telecom companies don’t notice this large scale data transfer! I mean millions of their subscribers sending information to the same location, all at pretty noticeable speeds. Oh, and don't even get me started on how they manage to get sonar devices on phones all over the city on such short notice!

But the sci-fi mumbo jumbo is exactly what makes Batman attractive, isn’t it? Who would want to watch the Batman if it wasn’t for these unrealistic inventions, the skyhook and all the weird shit that comes out of the bat armor, or the bat mobile. Perhaps that is true, but then why not have the infinite grappling hooks that the comic books had and the tiny gizmos hidden inside batman’s utility belt?

But where things get truly bizarre, is when they begin violating the laws of physics. No matter how much I suspend logic and common sense, I can’t seem to accept how easy it is to flip on its back an eighty ton 16 wheeler. An eighty ton truck, traveling at about 60mph and stopping in what seemed like about 2 seconds would rip three street lamps, with four 1-inch bolts each right off, no effort. And that is just a conservative estimate. Even if you assumed the lamps were somehow strong enough to withstand that force, you get to the rope that the batman uses. Even if I assume Kevlar-like strength, the force generated even by a forty ton truck would be enough to snap the rope!

Lets get to the final bit. Assuming the rope was as strong as the movie suggested, there is no way the truck could flip over! The worst that could happen is that the truck would get into a slide before finally rolling over! But it is undeniable, the cinematics that a flipping 16 wheeler can achieve, are no where comparable to it rolling about (note: sarcasm).

The illogical stunts aside, the movie has won so many accolades. Rotten Tomatoes have given it a 96% approval, and IMDb users have quickly made it the greatest movie ever made. I’ve tried thinking why that might be. Sure Heath Ledger was quite good as the Joker, making him seem like quite the psycho that he truly is. His performance surely is inspired, but then it’s a comic book psycho. Surely there is more room for over the top psychosis. But somehow the repetitive “do you want to know how I got this scar?” seems more needy, funny, pathetic even, than scary. Jack Nicholson does a better job of scary in The shining, and who can forget Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast. Even Judi Dench in Notes On A Scandal is quite chilling, without needing to cut people’s mouths open or have them blown up!

Let’s grant Heath Ledger his posthumous oscar for The Joker, even though it would be just one of those things, a media event, honoring a fine actor just because he is deceased, rather than based on a critical viewing of the performance. Let’s get to the script, long and winding, almost boring at times. The movie slows down to a snail pace right in the middle, as if to prepare the audience for the barrage of violence and visual titillation that was in store. All it did for me was show how little the script really had to offer. The script had nothing if it weren’t for a love triangle, a love triangle that exists no where in the original comic series. Let us forget that most of the characters have been distorted if not completely changed from the original series. For instance, Harvey Dent is actually married, or that his wife (Gilda) is a (unknown) vigilante who earns the nickname The Holiday.

Harvey Dent, or rather Two Face’s insane need for justice for the death of his beloved is quite out of character. Going after pawns, rather than the kingpin somehow doesn’t fit Harvey Dent’s personality.

And of course, the humanity aspect. Ah, so touching. Didn’t everyone just about suppress those tears when that big man in orange claims “I’m going to do something you should have done a ten minutes back” before (unexpectedly?) throwing the remote for the bomb into the sea. Who are we kidding here? If this is supposed to emulate real life, we all know what would have happened. The Joker would have won. And if the Joker wanted chaos as much as he claimed, he’d be a lot smarter. Why would you put all the faith of your plan in the hands of some irrational, emotional bullshit? For all his precision, the joker is just another fool, the bad guy who doesn’t have the balls to follow through on his plans. A man who doesn’t have any Plan Bs?

Let’s get to the Batman now, shall we? The Dark Knight, the upholder of justice; truth above all and all that crap. Somehow he has no pangs using a sonar system (whose plausibility is very questionable) that is a sure invasion of privacy, but to “rid the city of evil”, ah, he is too good and moral to let the joker fall! The duplicity of Batman’s nature surely indicates schizophrenia. What lengths is the batman willing to go to, to rid the city of evil? Obviously he isn’t the dark knight! He doesn’t have the cajones to do what is necessary, let the Joker die. But he has no pangs killing of those little pawns that obstruct him as he fights those minor drug deals, or weapon sales or whatever it is bad guys like Maroni do. Oh, and whatever happened to Falcone? The mob boss whose life Dr. Wayne saves.

All in all, the movie was full of plot holes, illogical, impractical and sometimes impossible stunts, suspension of all reality. Add to that characters that are very much contradictory, The Joker is precise (killing his crew for the heist) yet imprecise (killing Harvey Dent, the ships and more), Batman is the Dark Knight, having to do the “dirty deeds” that the Law cannot but unable to do what is really needed! Finally the duplicity of Gotham City; On one hand they are “sane” enough to decide not to blow each other up, yet the two “corrupt” cops were so easily persuaded to destroy two lives, an equal trade? I guess The Dark Knight is the greatest movie ever, if you can swallow all the bullshit it throws at you. But then so is Armageddon, or Total Recall, or Independence Day…

And the Oscar goes to...

2008-02-15T18:50:00.008-06:00

Indian cinema is awakening to the need for intelligent cinema they say. Move over masala flicks and poor scripts; move over bad acting, over acting and no acting. The glory days are finally here and here to stay. Gone are the days where actresses were mere furniture on the sets, gone are the days where actors carried movies. Intelligent scripts are dawning on a new day for Indian cinema.

So what if the Oscars don’t recognize our talent and potential. “Bling” Khan won’t go to the Oscars even if they invited him. He wants the Oscars in India. He wants Cannes in India. He wants to focus on India’s wealth, prosperity and happiness. It is time we stop selling our shortcomings and showcase a whole new India to the west. Let’s have our song and dance movies, but let’s make them 90 minutes he adds.

But this isn’t about Shahrukh Khan. It is about the rejuvenated spirit of Indian cinema. It is about the Rang De Basanti’s, the Taare Zameen Par’s, the Dhamaal’s, and the Munnabhai’s. It is about how the west sidelines Indian cinema, ignoring the underdogs of International cinema. After all, we are one of the largest movie industries in the world!

Lagaan’s loss in the Oscars was sufficient proof for Indians that the Oscars were racist, politicized and one sided. Oh yes, movies like Amelie, No Man’s Land, Son of the bride and Elling had the big bucks.

The French film, Amelie, an Oscar nominee, is a huge hit, having grossed $20 million in America and $100 million abroad. The Golden Globe winner for best foreign film, Bosnia's No Man's Land grossed a modest $300,000 before the awards but won significant kudos including best screenplay at the Cannes Film Festival. 'Superb, fierce, funny,' declared Rolling Stone.

They lobbied hard and made sure Lagaan didn’t stand a chance. And why would a brown man win the Oscars? Oh yes. That has to be it. Lagaan with its 224 minute run time was a sure fire winner, if it wasn’t for racial prejudice.

I have heard reasons spanning its brilliant musical score to the majestic acting by the cast, to the reality of past India, in reviews praising the movie; some westerners too. This is hailed as an international audience accepting the movie and accepting Bollywood standards as satisfactory, if not excellent.

IMDb User Review

From The New Yorker
This Indian film-a period musical drama about a group of drought-stricken villagers who play a cricket match against the British authorities to avoid taxation (lagaan)-is pure Bollywood. The director Ashutosh Gowariker crosses a lavish romantic epic with a muscular adventure tale and comes up with an outrageously buoyant hybrid. The musical sequences burst from the story organically, and the outdoor production numbers are composed of brilliantly edited tracking shots and spectacular choreography. Not all the performances soar (the British actors seem particularly stiff), but the romantic leads are wonderful. Aamir Khan's masterly preening is worthy of a young Tony Curtis and his ladylove, played by Gracy Singh, does a Janet Leigh turn at getting her man. The daunting four-hour length leaves plenty of room for meandering subplots and misunderstandings, but the film is so visually alive and superbly structured-it also breaks for an intermission-that you will be happily taken in by its bighearted charms. In Hindi and English.
-Bruce Diones

But to the objective perspective, it hardly seems so. The attractiveness of this movie to international audiences was far from those reasons. People believed the movies to be a “musical” and I would strictly avoid that label. All Hindi movies have song and dance in them. What differentiates them from a musical is the fact that the songs stunt the forward motion of the script. It is filler, an intermission, a pause for the viewer to recover from the barrage of non-stop nonsense. The exotic nature of our staple song-dance rituals eventually dies out and cinema will eventually be graded on more than the exotic appeal of a region. Lagaan may have benefited far more from its cricket inspired, sing-song, David-Goliath theme, than it has lost. In fact, I am willing to stick my neck out, that on the basis of cinematic excellence, it would have failed to make even the 5 nominated.

But where Lagaan has succeeded, all other bollywood flicks (in the visible future) will fail. The sing-song is no longer novel and cute. The constant breaks in the flow of the movie will be perceived with the same level of annoyance as Lagaan’s 4 hour long tirade. Of all the Oscar nominations in this millennium, Lagaan is by far the worst of them (from the 9 that I have seen so far). Of the 2002 nominations, I can quite comfortably say Lagaan is at best the second from bottom. The reason it has managed this feat, is because I am yet to watch Elling, the Norwegian nomination.

But this rant is a little late, isn’t it? This story is 6 years old. Ancient history. But is it? The reason for our apparent disinterest in the Oscars (for all its political propaganda) is not for justified reasons. The Oscars (at least the foreign language segment), is mostly devoid of the big bucks. No Man’s Land, the eventual winner had hardly grossed millions. Amelie did, but that didn’t make it easier for the producers to lobby for the movie.

The fact remains, whether we like it or not, the Oscars are still considered the epitome of cinematic awards. An even more disheartening fact is our inability to use a common platform to measure our movies with those from around the world. The Taare zameen par’s would hardly withstand the onslaught of sheer brilliance in world cinema today. Yet it hails supreme, as epitome of present day Indian cinema. This is, in spite of there being several good movies launching all over the country. I could go on with this rant, but it is, after all, just my opinion; an opinion that does not outweigh the opinion of a person who is forcefully opposed to my views, even if he hasn’t watched the other nominations, or the eventual winner.

But to drive home the real purpose of this rant, movies hailed in the Indian media are so covered in hype, that it is usually impossible for an objective opinion. Taare Zameen Par, had a sub-par script, with even worse acting from its super-star, and a total lack of originality. When a movie rips off ideas from famous comic strips in a 2+ hour long movie, you know there isn’t a single creative bone! We remain content with our unsatisfactory movie industry, hailing award ceremonies as and when they please us. Cannes is great only as long as they do not shun India’s favorite. The Oscars met with quite the same reaction in India.

But to celebrate excellence, my deluded friend, you must create it. It is easy for the Lagaan's and TZP's to win filmfare and all those countless awards when it is contending against Dil Chahta Hai and Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Gham. But when it is pitted against the likes of Amelie, No Man’s Land, it falls short.

Some more (interesting) reviews:

Lagaan: The Review

Art in the absence of reality

Update Feb 17th:

From NDTV.com

"Shah Rukh admitted to the interviewer that his last year's home production, Om Shanti Om, was full of cliches of Indian cinema. "But it is full of heart. I think we need to make more movies like this and gradually more and more people will come to like that," he said."

That is absurd on so many levels. And if the world standard ever got to that level (god forbid), I will swear off movies! Though am I glad for DVD's and digital media...

Food!!!

2008-01-25T22:21:00.000-06:00

"Top 10 Reasons I Hate to Cook"

"Heat changes food; change it the right way and you have success!"

- Matt Tucker

In the 21 years I have been in India, under the watchful eyes of my family, I have rarely stepped foot in the kitchen. The times that I did, were either to help my mom bake a cake (that is the only way I could convince her to bake one), or make myself some eggs (when I was old enough to operate the burners). My knowledge of cooking and all things gastronomic started and ended with eggs, perhaps the odd cup of tea, though I hardly recollect it.

The US brought with it a whole world of new experiences, amongst which was the compulsion to cook; and for a beginner to cook for 5 people is reason enough to hate it. But somehow, defying all logic (as I tend to do), cooking grew on me, though I can't make the simplest Daal and Rice. The rice, I have gotten a hang of, thanks to the microwave oven. Daals... let's not even go there.

But as with everything else, I have my theories as to why I started enjoying what I should probably have despised. Cooking, they say is therapeutic, and a stress buster. I certainly agree with that point of view, especially when I cook for myself. I don't understand other people, when they say they can't cook for themselves. I find the effort I put in, makes the meal/dish taste that much better. Unfortunately, cooking for other people, means keeping in mind their individual tastes and curbing your natural instincts, which robs the fun from it. But as my grandmother says, those who love eating better learn to cook well!!

I am hardly a master of the culinary world, though with the introduction to Good Eats, by my good friend Ashwin, I feel like a genius. Though limited by hardware, I find myself willing to put in that extra effort in order to compensate for the lack of mechanized beasts that simplify the prep. My cooking skills are basic. The need for instruction is over-whelming. But considering it has been barely 18 months since I started (even less if we are looking for quality), I am well satisfied. This post is looking back at all the experiments, some good and some gone terribly wrong, and a big Thank You to the people that have ingested the bad with the good.

American Born, Confused Chinese
This was my first attempt at a "recipe". A simple lemon, garlic, ginger and soy based dish with chicken, this soon became a favorite with the tangy-sweet loving simpletons.

With The Good, Comes Bad
This absolute disaster occured Dec 2006. Armed with a sub-par recipe (created by yours truly) and little know-how, this Fish-Mustard-Pea concoction is my biggest disaster till date. Barely edible (though I survived it), this dish was probably my best looking. The best tasting, for sure, is Beer Barbecue Chicken Fried Rice.

Tandoori Chicken and Pulao
This dish turned out to be far simpler than expected. Maestro Chef Yogesh Pai has perfected his spicy variant of this popular barbecue dish over the months while Vinayak's Pulao makes for the perfect unassuming accompaniment. Serve with loads of yogurt and lemon. Keep the fire extinguisher handy.

Chicken-a-la-pouch
This Good Eats method (season 7, Ep 8) emphasizes fast cooking for nuclear families. A meal for as many as the oven can hold in half an hour. Unfortunately for me, the cooking alone took me about 45 minutes. I blame it on my oven though. The results, however, were scintillating and far beyond my expectations.

Hail Caesar
A modified (throw in everything you see) version of Caesar Salad, with chicken and Ranch dressing replacing the raw eggs. Olive oil did enhance flavor, but she turned out to be less photogenic.

House of the Rising Bun

Baking is probably what the wise were talking about when they said, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Though it has little to do with the stomach. Just the smell of fresh baked bread or cookies makes the stoutest men into putty. These cinnamon rolls were

relished without the cream cheese frosting. A lemon-ginger experiment was too good to be true. You just had to be there...

Seafood Extravaganza
A fish curry (bangla style) gone wrong (thanks to sweetened coconut milk) was a blessing in disguise. The dish was meant to be spicy, but the sweetness added a new dimension to an already brilliant dish. I had to lick my plate clean. The shrimp appetizers: Garlic Shrimp with Parsley, Kerala Chili Prawns

The Chicken is an egg's way to make more eggs.

Eggs... Spinach, garlic, spaghetti sauce and CHEESE. Now available in Omlette and Scrambled variants.

Ham Salad, Mutton cutlets and the simple 'ol scrambled eggs, pepper and salt.

The Butcher Shop:
He must be a leg man!

Organ-ised Butchery

Cookies
Chocolate Chip and Peanut Butter Cookies.

Democrazy Now!!

2007-12-01T23:12:00.000-06:00

“The caste into which one is born remains for life.”
- Supreme Court of India. (on the Caste confusion of a (formerly) SC student)

In a country trying to battle casteism, for what seems like eons, the Supreme Court sure has landed a lethal upper cut to the spirit of equality. That being said, I don’t hold them directly responsible for their statements. The situation has gotten thus far, much thanks to our “secular” Congress led, UPA government. If we recognize castes (which isn’t very much different from the caste system of times gone by) then the same rules must be applicable as they have been before. Namely, your being born into the caste of your parents, however inferior or superior; Hence, no fault on the part of the SC.

What is even more disheartening and disappointing, is, that the way things are today, a person with no claim to a “caste status” prefers the labels society is willing to attach. I don’t mean to label the girl, as the need for SC status on her part may be due to impressed circumstance. But then again, I make no assumptions that her reasons are justifiable and understandable. She could just be one of those people ready to exploit the flaws and weaknesses of the system. Either way, this fact is unknowable to me at this time. So with benefit of the doubt, it can be assumed, that a system so warped in its need for strategic disempowerment is capable of forcing the tilt to extremes, and provide more avenues for misuse than for the intended upliftment of the masses.

In other caste news, Tea growing “adivasis” of the Assam region have given an “ultimatum” to the powers that be, to enlist them in the ST lists. I could be persuaded to believing that the tea industry has been doing pretty badly over the past decade or so, and that this has caused the economic bereavement of the tea tribes. But rather than request industry based economic impetus, the far easier route of SC/ST/MBC enlistment seemed far more viable. This might be a simplistic view of the tea tribe problem and I will accept that criticism.

Needless to say, all this is just part of the puzzle I like to call, the Façade of Democracy. From strategic disempowerment, to restrictions in freedom of speech, to a willful sidelining of the people’s interests, “the free world”, today, is a lot more willing to show its true colors. In the true spirit of freedom of speech, Taslima Nasreen would not be forced to delete parts of her book (not to mention that the Speaker and Centre have applauded her for this, rather than control the miscreants), nor would songs have to be re-written as they hurt the sensibilities of certain groups, or musicians sidelined for voicing their opinion in the “free world”.

On a completely unrelated note, for those that haven't read it, this article about the Malawian resurgence from famine to surplus is a must-read.

Forgiving Eva Kor/Pugh/Hercules

2007-11-13T00:52:00.001-06:00

It’s been a while since I have blogged about anything. It had reached a point where I was thinking about having it deleted. Then I watched the documentary, “Forgiving Dr. Mengele” and I realized why I do have this space.

The documentary revolves around Eva Mozes Kor, a holocaust survivor, part of Mengele’s experiments on twins, consisting primarily her version of what happened at Auschwitz, and a comparison of the emotions of the other survivors of the twin experiments. The movie obviously had great reviews. It’s one of those topics that no one dares to voice a contrary opinion about.

I too, for a large part of the movie, got sucked into the emotion that the movie-maker so obviously wanted the viewer to concentrate on. One of the user reviews on imdb by Eric Monder (obviously having nothing critical to say about the issue on a public forum) could only find the sweetest nectar.
“In one of the many dramatic sequences, as a group of Jews argue with Kor at a Jewish centre, the meaning of the word "forgive" is even debated, but the isolated and outnumbered Kor holds her own”

But by this time, the sappy hold that the movie had on my dormant emotional repertoire had let loose enough that I could see clearly once more. After the “strong-willed” Eva Kor forgives her “Nazi captors” the movie begins to delve into what forgiving is all about, at least from the viewpoint of Kor. The movie goes about following her, past her public statement forgiving the Nazis and into new territory. To me, this was the meat of the movie, surrounded by inedible fat of her “act of forgiveness”. Obviously, it was a very sick cow.

On a mission to test her theory of forgiveness, in order to heal wounds of the past, she makes her way to the “promised land” to meet with some Arabs, to discuss with them the issues that they face and to see if dialogue cannot lead to a better understanding of the situation and heavily interspersed with debates and discussions with Jews in the US on her act of forgiving the Nazis, including one at a Jewish center in Chicago. From then on, anyone not so teary eyed that they can’t see the screen will find it hard-pressed to miss the obvious contradiction in her statements.

Firstly, you immediately notice her body language, defensive and unwilling to listen in a room full of Arab scholars and teachers. Her comments about how she feared that they might kidnap her shows how much of a waste of time, effort and money the entire act was. A rather annoyed Dr Sami Advan (Professor of education at Bethlehem University) gets it just right when he tells Kor off for a statement she makes about how she would rather be asleep in her apartment.

Finally, the debate at the Jewish center in Chicago, where she is “grilled” on the meaning of forgiveness and her right to do so, in the wake of those that continue suffering through the trauma of the acts.

I will cut to the chase. By the end of the movie, I was hoping I hadn’t chosen to watch the movie. The movie was badly made, failing to delve deeper into anything about Auschwitz apart from the purely trivial, just sufficient to make sure the holocaust is refreshed in the viewers memory and to incite a barrage of tears. It showed that Kor, the subject of the documentary was unable to engage in fair discussion. Her discussion abilities were limited to parroting her stance on forgiveness (at best) to a complete unwillingness to listen or participate.

Lastly, is everyone so retarded today that they can’t notice the difference between making peace and forgiving? Quoting another halfwit off imdb lustyvita, “I don't see her forgiveness as being weak- quite the contrary, she just wanted to relieve its hold from her soul, she wanted the suffering to be over, so she let it go.” That would be the perfect layman’s definition of MAKING PEACE.

I guess, in a world of propaganda, blind faith and political correctness, there is no room to question those that have “gone through more than the human mind can fathom”.

P.S. The dictionary certainly should go into all those Books-to-buy lists everyone keeps making.

Hair Is Gone!

2007-10-22T02:50:00.001-05:00

The Losing Battle of Uber-Patriotism

2007-10-22T02:13:00.000-05:00

Uber-Patriotism is the phenomenon (as perceived by my limited faculties and partial knowledge and understanding of the term) of over-zealous nationalism and patriotism. Uber, German for super or often over, along with patriotism creates some of the worst kind of excesses, the excesses that created the Hitler’s and the Mussolini’s. Anyway, I am not here to discuss the effects of uber-patriotism in history, or its continued effect on world politics and the Middle East, or even the "war on terror", how the United States has been zombified into believing in things that don’t really exist.

This might be stretching too far into the past, but it certainly is still in touch with the trend that is growing in present day India. Uber-Patriotism is a steadily growing phenomenon in India. The film Industry has certainly caught onto this sense of shallow patriotism and cashed in. The Rang De Basanti’s, Chak De India’s, Lagaan’s, Sivaji’s etc. I could go on. This millennium has certainly seen a lot of bollywood "enthusiasm" into the patriotism genre, raking in the big bucks. But this isn’t about the intentions of the movie makers, however noble/ignoble . Its about how we have allowed ourselves to get caught up in the grip of uber-patriotism.

It was sad, for me, as a starry-eyed, quixotic, almost over-zealous patriot, in my mid-teens to see the lack of any spirit of patriotism in the average indian. The ever-ready question, "Aap kahan ke ho?" (where are you from?), to indicate that you are different from them (and to those that lack the background, I am talking about Indians asking people that are obviously indians). But just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does (though the starry eyed boy is long gone).

The pop-culture of patriotism means you have the indian flag waved around on every damn occasion, more pomp and show on days of national celebration, more movies celebrating the national spirit but at the end of the day, you notice that most of it are just words. Empty, shallow words, that have no actions attached to it, nothing of significance to make you stand and take notice.

Anyway, the rambling must stop, let me get back to what originally got me here, the "stretching into the past" that has forced me to make this post. This was a forward that made it’s rounds a few years back. Perhaps more than a few. The gist for the vast majority that won’t bother reading it is, how the current national anthem is in praise of our colonial rulers and hence does not warrant its place in history and certainly doesn’t warrant being the national anthem. The forward then urged unequivocally, that everyone, "united in breath" ask for it to be replaced by Vande Mataram.

Now let me take this opportunity to dispel any notions that might indicate that I have anything against either of the two songs. Both were born out of the minds of literary geniuses. The point to all this is how easy it was to generate mass hysteria, that we as free indians continue to sing the adulations of our colonial miscreants and in doing so, lower ourselves to our slave status, and hence required the urgency that no other matter deserved. The starving millions, the poor federal reserves (at the time) and the countless other problems faced by the nation were all of secondary importance as we prioritised our need for a national anthem that truly forged in our minds the idea of independence. A hyseteria born out of pure speculation and if the same sources are to be believed as the ones that generate the rumour, then the writer very well knew what he was doing.

But irrespective of the intentions, as sensible indian’s that understand the meaning of the word patriotism, shouldn’t you be more open to interpretation than what the original author intended? Should we dismiss all great literary works because its topical relevance contradicts our belief system? Or should we just take a more rationalistic, non-sensationalistic approach to the whole thing, realise that even if the author wrote the song in praise of our evil over-lords, to the vast majority of a billion indians the song is simply, a song in praise of the motherland?

Pot Pourri

2007-07-28T03:27:00.000-05:00

I love food. I must confess, I haven’t always loved it. Getting me to eat when I was a kid was… difficult. I hated breakfast. My mom had to force feed me scrambled eggs. I don’t like the runny whites in a sunny side up, and early in the morning, with making breakfast and lunch for her boys, I couldn’t very well expect her to make it bone dry. And she had to force feed me because she found out I wouldn’t eat lunch. I was busy running around school during the lunch breaks. I’m glad I did. I wouldn’t want to look in the mirror anymore if I did eat all that she gave me for lunch. A few more kilos certainly would hurt.

Those days changed when I went to Delhi. A boy that wouldn’t eat one handful of rice, or one chapatti, now seamlessly devoured 8-10. My mom would cook enough in the morning for lunch and dinner so she wouldn’t have to cook twice and the little devil that I am, I enjoyed making her go cook again. But in my defense, I used to help her cook and clean, or any little thing I could that she would allow me to do.

Ever since then, I have been obsessed with food. From grossly underweight to undeniably over-weight, and living in three out of 4 cultural hubs of the country meant I had the fortune and opportunities to sample “local” cuisine. And now I love food even more. I expected the romance would end as I would be forced to enter the “female domain”, but it hasn’t been so.

Hoping that my appetite for good food will remain consistent over time, I decided to make my own list of Must-eats, like the 50 Things to eat before you die list that BBC viewers created, but unlike BBC, you are not welcome to vote or append my list. I would like to think my list is a bit more global, a lot more “worldly” and definitely less prejudiced than those stinking pommy bastards that voted fish and chips numero uno. But you may comment, for the sake of free speech and bullshit.

This list isn’t a list of cuisines I have sampled. In fact, chances are, I have never eaten any of these. But then what is the fun of making a list of must eats that have already been sampled. That would limit the possibilities and make this redundant for my own personal benefit. In making this list completely new to myself, I have opened a venue onto myself of places to see and things to eat. So this is a working and constructive list, rather than an omissive list that chooses to critique dishes and recipes. In the end, my list isn’t necessarily a list of Must eats, as much as it is a cultural exploration, which provided with sufficient time and money, I wish to carry out during my time on this shithole we call planet earth. As I said, this is more of a cultural exploration, so don’t expect to see single dish names, but generally cuisines I think I will enjoy and the types of dishes named are just illustrative, and I hope not to limit myself to those when the actual opportunity arrives.

“Roof of the world” at an average elevation of 5km, Tibet. Home to the now exiled Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, home as well to the Momo and Butter Tea. Tibet’s proximity to the Indian and Chinese civilizations doesn’t say much about its cuisine, its isolated location within the lap of the Himalayan mountain ranges and its cold harsh weather promises an entirely different variety of cuisine. The momo was recommended by a friend and hopefully companion on these gastronomical expeditions. In addition to these two, the mountains find themselves to be the home of the Yak, a low-cholesterol, low-fat beef replacement. Whether as a “spicy stew” or a juicy rib-eye, I can’t bother much. It will be fun meeting the prospective future of beef!

World’s Food Fair; Honk Kong. The fusion of eastern and western cuisine, without being blasphemous (or so I presume). Ruled by the british and now part of PRC, they probably have the best expertise at attempting this sort of fusion. And where else can you get shark fin soup! Alright, lots of places, but I’m sick of Chinese cuisine and this is as close to Chinese food I will allow myself.

@ The Yung Kee Restaurant

“The American Bison is a bovine mammal, also commonly known as the American Buffalo, or simply buffalo, something of a misnomer as it is only distantly related to either of the two "true buffalos": the Water Buffalo and the African Buffalo.” – Source Wiki

“Bison is one of the fastest growing segments of American Agriculture. The bison is very low maintenance and a very efficient grazing animal. Bison meat is much lower in fat and cholesterol than other meats but it maintains a very high protein level. Bison meat has a clear-cut advantage in our 'heart healthy' society.” – Iowa Bison Association

Species Fat (g) Calories (kcal) Cholestrol (mg) Protein (g)
Bison-Buffalo 2.42 143 82 33
Beef 9.3 211 86 20.78
Chicken * 7.41 190 89 23.09
Pork 10.5 215 92 20.99
Beefalo 4.8 143 44 23.30

*Skinless
Source: The Buffalo Shop, USDA National Nutrient Database

And it cooks faster :D. Less fat, less insulation, less heat and time needed to cook the same meat. Flipside? Overcooking is a serious danger and can leave the meat dry. But I’m not worried, I’m getting my steak cooked by a pro. Who said health food can’t be tasty?

To the land of the rising sun, to learn their art of marketing, manufacturing philosophies, and business stratagem. Who am I kidding? I’m going there for their Sashimi, Shochu, Awamori…

Japan has some amazing alcoholic beverages. I was lucky enough to have an uncle who totally hated it at first taste and wasn’t tolerant enough to give it a chance. As I said, his loss was my gain and a full bottle of sake is certainly a nice gain.

A bit of yakitori (bite-sized pieces of chicken meat, served with tare sauce, which is basically made up of mirin, sweet sake, soy sauce and sugar) with Awamori (alcoholic beverage indigenous to and unique to Okinawa, distilled) sounds good. They suggest a beer with your yakitori. But awamori sounds better. The booze actually catches fire at 120 proof.

I’m still a bit queasy at the prospect of eating raw fish, so until I can get up the courage, I’ll stick with Tataki, a variant of Sashimi that has raw Tuna/Beef seared on the outside. Served with spring onions, ginger and garlic paste. Is it blasphemous to have wasabi with this, will surely make for an eye-watering experience. Shochu sounds great to wash it down.

Mother Russia how are you sleeping
Middle winter cold winds blow
From the trees the snowflakes drifting
Swirling round like ghosts in the snow

Mother Russia poetry majestic
Tells the time of a great empire
Turning round the old man ponders
Reminiscing an age gone by

Mother Russia
Dance of the czars
Hold up your heads
Be proud of what you are

This is the last one of the first installment. I can’t stand it anymore!!! The more I read about the stuff I want to eat (eventually!!!) the more I WANT to eat it, NOW!

Botvin`ya (typical cold Russian soups, that almost went extinct because it is very hard to make)

A full botvin'ya consists of three parts:
1. The soup.
2. Boiled "red" (most prized) fish (salmon, sturgeon, or stellate sturgeon), that is served separately from soup.
3. Crushed ice, served on a separate platter or cup.

It is eaten as first course or right after a hot soup, before the second course as an appetizer. You have to eat it with two spoons and a fork: the fork is used to take the fish, the first spoon to sip the soup and the second spoon to put ice into the soup, so it stays cold for a long time. Botvin'ya is eaten with fresh rye bread.

Veal Orloff (braised loin of veal, thinly sliced, filled with a thin layer of pureed mushrooms and onions between each slice, and stacked back. It is then topped with bechamel sauce and cheese and browned in the oven.)

Kvass (fermented mildly alcoholic beverage made from black or rye bread, alcohol content is so low, 1-1.5%, often flavored with fruits or herbs such as strawberries or mint.)

Meat Solyanka (ingredients like beef, ham, chicken breasts, and cabbage, together with salty mushrooms, cucumber pickles, tomatoes, onions, olives, capers, allspice, parsley, and dill are all cut fine and mingled with cream in a pot. The broth is added, and all shortly heated in the stove, without boiling.)

Okroshka (cold soup, mix of mostly raw vegetables (like cucumbers, spring onion, radish), boiled potatoes, eggs, ham with the beverage kvass.)

Shashlik (a form of Shish kebab, generally beef, pork, or lamb)

Pelmeni (usually made with minced meat filling, wrapped in thin dough (made out of flour and eggs, sometimes with milk or water added). Often various spices, such as pepper and onions are mixed into the filling. Pelmeni are eaten by boiling in water until they float, and then 2-5 minutes more. The resulting dish is served with butter and/or sour cream.

Imprint Of My Mind: Untitled - The Boredom continues#links

2007-07-28T01:03:00.000-05:00

Imprint Of My Mind: Untitled - The Boredom continues

"Aseem’s living condition was obviously at odds with his means. The President of a fairly successful sugar mill had no reason to tolerate living conditions that he had become accustomed to. Yet somehow, a glance into the lower level of his apartment would make anyone squeamish. However, the upper level was treated a lot more like a living space. The den, having been converted into a reading space, also housed all his business and work attire. It seemed to be an entirely different house from the lower level... "

Postcultural Narrative and Dialectic Deconstruction

2007-07-27T04:38:00.000-05:00

1. Dialectic deconstruction and posttextual discourse
“Art is part of the dialectic of consciousness,” says Marx; however, according to Hamburger[1] , it is not so much art that is part of the dialectic of consciousness, but rather the absurdity, and eventually the collapse, of art. If posttextual discourse holds, the works of Spelling are reminiscent of Smith.

“Society is intrinsically used in the service of sexist perceptions of class,” says Debord. However, dialectic deconstruction holds that the task of the poet is deconstruction, but only if sexuality is distinct from language; otherwise, we can assume that the State is dead. The subject is contextualised into a dialectic Marxism that includes consciousness as a paradox.

In the works of Spelling, a predominant concept is the concept of subcapitalist truth. In a sense, Lyotard suggests the use of dialectic deconstruction to read sexual identity. The characteristic theme of the works of Spelling is not materialism as such, but postmaterialism.

The primary theme of von Ludwig’s[2] essay on postcultural narrative is the role of the artist as poet. But Foucault uses the term ‘neoconstructive cultural theory’ to denote the difference between art and society. Long[3] states that we have to choose between dialectic deconstruction and Debordist situation.

If one examines the subpatriarchial paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either reject posttextual discourse or conclude that sexual identity has intrinsic meaning. Thus, the example of postcultural narrative depicted in Rushdie’s Satanic Verses is also evident in The Moor’s Last Sigh, although in a more capitalist sense. The premise of dialectic deconstruction suggests that consciousness is fundamentally impossible.

“Culture is meaningless,” says Lacan; however, according to Dietrich[4] , it is not so much culture that is meaningless, but rather the stasis, and thus the genre, of culture. But the subject is interpolated into a Sartreist absurdity that includes language as a reality. If dialectic deconstruction holds, the works of Rushdie are an example of mythopoetical nihilism.

Thus, d’Erlette[5] holds that we have to choose between posttextual discourse and the semioticist paradigm of expression. In Midnight’s Children, Rushdie examines postcapitalist nationalism; in The Moor’s Last Sigh, however, he affirms posttextual discourse.

Therefore, the main theme of the works of Rushdie is the role of the participant as poet. Baudrillard’s model of dialectic pretextual theory implies that context comes from communication, but only if the premise of postcultural narrative is valid; if that is not the case, sexual identity, somewhat paradoxically, has objective value.

But Bataille uses the term ‘capitalist theory’ to denote a posttextual paradox. The subject is contextualised into a posttextual discourse that includes consciousness as a reality.

In a sense, the primary theme of Drucker’s[6] critique of postcultural narrative is the common ground between reality and class. The subject is interpolated into a dialectic deconstruction that includes sexuality as a whole.

But Foucault’s analysis of postcultural narrative states that the collective is capable of significance. Several narratives concerning the role of the writer as artist exist.

Therefore, the subject is contextualised into a posttextual discourse that includes truth as a reality. An abundance of constructions concerning postcultural narrative may be found.

It could be said that Bataille uses the term ‘dialectic deconstruction’ to denote the bridge between sexuality and class. The main theme of the works of Rushdie is the role of the participant as writer.

In a sense, any number of discourses concerning a self-sufficient whole exist. If Debordist image holds, we have to choose between dialectic deconstruction and subtextual dialectic theory.

2. Rushdie and the pretextual paradigm of discourse
If one examines dialectic deconstruction, one is faced with a choice: either accept posttextual discourse or conclude that expression is a product of the collective unconscious. However, Foucault uses the term ‘dialectic deconstruction’ to denote the common ground between sexual identity and society. The characteristic theme of Cameron’s[7] essay on postcultural narrative is a dialectic totality.

It could be said that Sargeant[8] implies that we have to choose between deconstructivist rationalism and postcapitalist theory. The premise of posttextual discourse states that reality is capable of social comment, but only if language is interchangeable with sexuality; otherwise, Bataille’s model of postcultural narrative is one of “the dialectic paradigm of narrative”, and therefore intrinsically elitist.

However, the subject is interpolated into a posttextual discourse that includes culture as a whole. If dialectic deconstruction holds, we have to choose between postcultural narrative and subcapitalist cultural theory.

Forgot to put the damn disclamer. This ISNT ME. Its some stupid random text generator. Pretty Impressive eh!

Imprint Of My Mind: Boredom - Untitled

2007-07-26T20:14:00.000-05:00

Imprint Of My Mind: Boredom - Untitled

The kitchen exhaust was humming rather loudly. This wasn’t unusual for the dingy kitchen. It was rather startling that it had even started. It usually took an eternity to start up. That would explain the residual odor. Aseem hadn’t cooked in his kitchen too often, and it had been years since he had done that. But still the kitchen lay littered with fruits and the sink up to the brim with unwashed cups...

Editor on Holiday.

2007-07-26T07:22:00.000-05:00

In between the work I have had to do coupled with the necessary amounts of procrastination, I have been left with little time over the past few days but to read nonsense like English Verb Tenses, Bread Recipes, Barbecue recipes, and How to Make Beer and Wine.

So I apologize beforehand for the extreme boredom that will reflect in this post, but do bear with me. I promise more interesting posts in the near future, or atleast to a degree amusing, depending on how you are inclined. Some might find it boring, and I strongly urge them to be as critical and/or abusive as they can be. It surely will reduce the boredom.

But for now, I feel the need to rant about the Indian "news media" once again. The fact that this happens to be an article about Shilpa Shetty is purely coincidental.

Startling that Newspapers or their online counterparts let such bullshit fly. I don't wish to debate over whether this is News or page 3 bullshit. The thing that does startle me is that a reporter typed this out and the editor didn't bother to proof read. Apparently, newspapers don't care about correct grammar and language.

"Indiafm.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2007: (Mumbai):

Shilpa Shetty is in legal trap. The writer obviously never got an A in class. Hence she figured no one would miss it in the sentence. Bad joke? Perhaps, but undoubtedly poor grammar. A London law firm has sued Shilpa's company Cine Entertainment for not clearing their dues.

A security company called CTR services is also planning to sue her on non-payment of bills as they had provided security services to Shilpa in the UK sometime backs. What backs? And if i remember my school grammar correctly, the subject of the sentence is a collective noun (Company) and hence 'is' should be replaced with 'are', purely speculative.

According to the reports, Shilpa has also been dropped from famous publicist Max Clifford's client list due to conflicts with Max's employees.

However, her representative in the UK, Farnath Hussain informs that her company Cine Entertainment has already paid every penny that they owe. Their payment got delayed because the figures CTR submitted were not right and her company asked them to rework on it. Rework on it??? wtf! 'it' refers to 'the figures', so lets plug it in place and see if it makes sense. '... asked them to rework on the figures. If you haven't shot yourself yet, I assure you the next one will take you over the edge.

Recently, she was allegedly linked up with her "good friend" and producer Raj Kundra. Kundra's wife Kavita openly accused Shilpa in media for breaking their marriage." In media? need I say more?

Victory is OURS!

2007-07-03T16:42:00.000-05:00

Newsflash: India proves Gandhi's last letter is Legally ours. Fuck you pommies.

The Indian government gets possession of a letter written by Mahatma Gandhi, which was originally due for auction in London on Tuesday.
British auction house Christie's called of the auction after the letter was withdrawn by its owner.
The move followed when it was established that the actual ownership of the letter was with the Navjiwan Trust in Ahmedabad.
Gandhi wrote the letter 19 days before he was assassinated by a Hindu activist in Delhi in 1948.
In the handwritten letter published in the journal Harijan, Gandhi pleaded for tolerance towards Muslims and also advocated the importance of Urdu.
courtesy:ndtv.com

Yeah, you guessed right. I'm fucking ecstatic.

Two down, 60,776,238 to go.

She's No Mother Of Mine

2007-07-03T01:23:00.000-05:00

Mother Teresa is well known for having founded the Missionaries of Charity and her ‘good work’ in the “slums of Calcutta”. And all is hunky dory, as the questions raised by those more skeptical of her are suppressed by the heavy hand that is religion. And the list of people that are skeptical is not merely limited to the “religious bigots” of the VHP, but can find a resounding aye amongst the most revered thinkers of our times, including Richard Dawkins, Sanaal Edamaruku (first president of the Rationalist International and Secretary General of the Indian Rationalist International), Walter Wuellenweber (who published an article on Teresa’s first death anniversary in the German Magazine STERN) and more importantly Seiku Murmu. The list on non-believers goes on, from the prominent to the experienced, and it can be easily shown that the believers choose not to see all that surrounds the sainthood of Teresa.

A lot of people will claim these people are jealous of her having become a saint, and prior to that regarded as one in the eyes of millions. Or perhaps that she has shown the “strength” to do what they could not. But the so called strength Teresa showed during her ‘good work’ in the slums is the same strength that propels the mad-men at Gaza, at Al-Qaeda camps and the religious crazies that whip themselves to feel ‘closer to god’.

What about the Nobel peace Prize she has? Isn’t that the greatest sham on earth? I think so. I am not claiming that all other Nobel prizes are sham, but just this one.

The right to submit proposals for the Nobel Peace Prize, based on the principle of competence and universality, shall by statute be enjoyed by:

1. Members of national assemblies and governments of states;

2. Members of international courts;

3. University rectors; professors of social sciences, history, philosophy, law and theology; directors of peace research institutes and foreign policy institutes;

4. Persons who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize;

5. Board members of organizations who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize;

6. Active and former members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee; (proposals by members of the Committee to be submitted no later than at the first meeting of the Committee after February 1) and

7. Former advisers appointed by the Norwegian Nobel Institute.

If you read it carefully, any religious bigot could nominate her and in the face of her public popularity there isn’t much contest. But where in this list do we find Mahatma Gandhi, probably the greatest expounder of peace. I may not agree with everything that he did, but little debate can be made over whether he was deserving of a peace prize.

The Vatican is also out to win a popularity race. With so many Christians demanding her beatification, it was easy to have done, considering the office of “Advocatus Diaboli” has been abolished, to allow for instant sainthood. The traditional role of AD was replaced by a single anti-Teresa voice, that of Christopher Hitchens. They saw no need to seek the opinion of more important people, core to this issue and witnesses of the supposed miracle. So predetermined was their need and intent to see her as a saint, that they didn’t deem unethical or unholy (as is their kind) to take away credit from the medical practitioner that put in the effort to cure her. Neither did they seek the witness of the husband, Seiku Murmu, who has constantly maintained that the whole miracle aspect is bullshit and who has gone on record that it was the doctors and no pseudo-saint that cured his wife.

But all of this is concerned with whether she should be granted sainthood. Some would say that it doesn’t matter and that her work speaks volumes to her perseverance and generosity. In response to that, all I can do is hang my head in shame that so many people see what they want to see. Teresa was a fraud. There remains millions of charity money with the Vatican intended to alleviate the condition of the poor in the slums of Calcutta and elsewhere. Most of this money comes from the most “evil” of people like Robert Maxwell and many of them see it as a quick fix for all their moral crimes. Not to mention that it’s the best way to launder money.

Teresa’s and Nirmala’s (the one who now heads the freak show) own statements, show clearly that they are not here to help the poor. Anyone who has bothered to look beyond the pristine white saree and blue border knows that the poor have been harmed more than helped. Those that have delved deeper into the working and psyche of Teresa and the missionary begin to see all that is fucked up with the way they work.

In the end, the supposed good that they missionaries have done in Calcutta is a bunch of bullshit. Ask the people in the slums of Calcutta. Thousands of independent interviewers have penetrated the façade that is the picture of the generous mother. There are thousands of charitable organizations in India that do more. They do not seek to convert the sick and weak of will, but truly put in their efforts to improve the living conditions of those they touch. In conclusion, Teresa has harmed India more than she has helped her. I am not indebted to her and her missionary for anything.

I feel it is impossible to illuminate all the facts that go to show Teresa is a fraud. Especially not within a blog post. The over whelming pages of evidence would be far more if religious organizations were more transparent in their financial dealings. When sisters of the missionary start to speak out (those that still believe strongly in the Christian faith) people should begin to wonder if all is as it seems on the surface.

Pannalal Manik also has doubts. "I don't understand why you educated people in the West have made this woman into such a goddess!" Manik was born some 56 years ago in the Rambagan slum, which at about 300 years of age, is Calcutta's oldest. What Manik has achieved, can well be called a "miracle". He has built 16 apartment buildings in the midst of the slum -- living space for 4000 people. Money for the building materials -- equivalent to DM 10000 per apartment building -- was begged for by Manik from the Ramakrishna Mission [a Indian/Hindu charity], the largest assistance-organisation in India. The slum-dwellers built the buildings themselves. It has become a model for the whole of India. But what about Mother Teresa? "I went to her place 3 times," said Manik. "She did not even listen to what I had to say. Everyone on earth knows that the sisters have a lot of money. But no one knows what they do with it!"

The Britishers referred to Mahatma Gandhi as `Mr Gandhi'. Why should we call her `Mother'?
- Giriraj Kishore

On the issue of abortion, Mother Teresa's was a fundamentalist position, one that was firmly allied with the Pope's hard-line position. Mother Teresa went so far as to appeal to victims of rape during the Bangladesh war not to terminate their pregnancies; the Pope, naturally, wanted the more recent victims of rape in Bosnia to follow the same course. At a public Mass in Knock, Ireland, in 1992, Mother Teresa said: "Let us promise Our Lady who loves Ireland so much that we will never allow in this country a single abortion. And no contraceptions."

All this irritates Monica's husband Seiku. "It is much ado about nothing," he says. "My wife was cured by the doctors and not by any miracle."
- Seiku Murmu, husband of "miraculously cured" Monica Besra

This Last one, is thanks to Bhavna. She brought this book to my notice and a quick search on google and I had found the book. Just goes to show how many people would like to know the truth.

Mother Teresa The Final Verdict By Aroup Chatterjee

Forward this, FUCKING RETARD!!

2007-07-01T00:39:00.000-05:00

Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.
- Joe Bob Briggs

The following is a forward I got in my e-mail recently. I hate forwards. This is why. I hate forwards as much as I hate spam and chain letters. I don’t want to fall in love and I don’t care if I never meet “the girl of my dreams”. So save your breath and STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. Anyway, enjoy the forward. And if you want to keep away from the rant stop at “it’s in flames!!!” Some people learnt to stop sending me forwards after I sent them pretty strongly worded replies as to how fucking retarded they are. It is bad enough I have to deal with hundreds of spam emails from corporations trying to shove their penis enhancement exercise programs and drugs in my face. To add to that “well intentioned” spam and I have a 50 mail inbox everyday, without fail, with nothing worth reading. Even the important mails slip right through.

1. at the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/ friends....

Stupid
Question: Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer: Don’t you know that I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:
Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks...

Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.

Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer: No, he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive man...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?

Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...

Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.

Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Rant time now. The person that sent this mail obviously has an infantile sense of humor. I am sure he lets out a girlish giggle every single time he hears “pee pee” just like the kid in Look Who’s Talking.

First of all, learn the fucking dynamics of speech. We as humans are capable of pretty complex speech. It isn’t necessary we say what we mean. We often encode what we intend on saying in phrases that have become commonplace. So next time your movie going buddy asks you what you are doing at the theater, do the polite thing. Answer him to the best your 4 year old brain can. And just because you are at the movie theater doesn’t fucking mean you are watching a fucking movie. Just like it doesn’t mean you are undergoing an operation if you are at the fucking hospital.

2. If you are the kind that can’t graciously accept a fucking apology for an accident, unintentional I guess, then I guarantee you, I will be the one stepping on your foot again if you ever say it to my face. Else you are just another guy with no fucking balls.

3. No, I would rather it would have been you. I shudder at the thought of little ones with your fucking DNA running about this planet, or for that matter any other.

4. Einstein, grow the fuck up. People have the right to order the best dish their money can buy. So pardon me if I want to know whether their Paneer Butter fucking masala is good enough for MY MONEY.

5. I normally assume this is an expression of surprise at the amount of time it has been since they have seen you. But in your case, it probably was a genuine sense of wonder. Everyone thought that with your level of intellect you would have electrocuted yourself well before puberty or driven of a cliff on your bicycle. We are all very surprised (some losing their faith in god, the rest in the theory of evolution) that you are still alive and apparently well.

6. Doesn’t hurt to scare the living shit out of the imbecile, does it? And you will be surprised how many people get married into what they know will be abusive relationships. So keep your stupid fucking thoughts in your head.

7. Not everyone is asleep as early as you fucking baby. Yes, baby needs his beauty sleep and mommy makes sure he is tucked in at 9 o’clock. But some of us dare to live a little.

8. Have you considered that the two people are meeting after a long time? Something could look different without you knowing what it is. It’s a guessing game. Arggghhhh

9. I challenge you to say that to your dentists face. I would love to see you bleed, ideally to death. Somehow you seem to have no value for the humanity your dentist is showing you by caring for your fucking well being.

10. Say that to the hot chick, will you? I guess not. Mr. Big will be the first to put out his cigarette I bet. Hypo-fucking-crite.

We Are The Champions

2007-06-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

I am sick of Indians being divided. Religion, caste, genetics, people have tried to divide us based on some criteria ever since we saw Invaders. I must admit the social evil that is the caste system, was predominantly of Indian origin, and we have no one but ourselves to blame. However those are evils within our community and do no give a third person sufficient right to attempt to internally set things straight. The western “developed” world has always attempted to show how primitive we Indians are, and any signs of original and indigenous thought was of course thanks to cultural invasion from Europe, via the Aryan race.

Ever since I was taught in school, of how Aryans came down from Turkey and settled in India, the suspicion has raged in my mind. How authentic are these “facts”? They seem prejudiced in their attempt to search for the truth, and the british desire to colonize India is sufficient motive. Ever since independence, Indians have had the “fact” thrust upon them that we are the product of a far greater civilization. A civilization that thinks the earth was created a few millennia ago, a civilization that did not know of the decimal number system until AD, one whose greatest thinkers, Pythagoras, Aristotle were pre-dated in thought by the far more ancient Vedas.

I could go on, for something so fallacious will obviously provide enough proof to indicate the truth. However, it suffices to say, it is easier to post some youtube video, where much of the hard work has already been done. In conclusion, all you Aryan supremists and british and western civilization mother fuckers can rot in hell. We were always better than you in our ability to think and that is something that you have not the courage to accept. Not then, not now. Grow the fuck up. Anything you guys did, we did before you’ll. We discovered Pi, irrational numbers, infinity, zero before you’ll. Bow to your gods, because the gods that you seek, was just a far more intellectually superior “invader” in the form of Indians.

And to the Indians, stop the nonsensical North vs. South debate. The seed of doubt was planted by those racially inferior bastards with a superiority complex that only an inferior man can have. So in conclusion, what Indian archaeologists are trying to do, is try to irradicate the Aryan/Dravidian divide that exists in India. The next time someone calls you Dravidian or Aryan, have the fucking balls to tell them off.

I realise with all the "busy" people these days, they won't have enough time to watch the following videos. But if you do, you'll know I am right.

Wonder Blunder

2007-06-25T20:44:00.000-05:00

The Seven Wonders of the World, ancient or middle-age, I can’t name one. Actually I can do pretty well on the ancient wonders (I remembered 5 out of 7 correctly), but not so well the middle-age wonders. So I wiki’d it. But what the fuck, there is no middle age list that can comprehensively clear my query.

But that isn’t the point of this. I seriously doubt too many people know all the seven wonders, whichever age. Sure, historians will know. I doubt even a fraction of the world population has visited them all. So the New Seven wonders Project, where we imbeciles are allowed to vote from a list of 20 (formerly 21, before Egypt made a big deal of it) for the 7 we deem fit.

And how does this voting occur. Well the internet and Cellular Phones of course. No way to reach the masses than the internet right? Wrong. Under 1 billion people have an internet connection from the top 20 countries. And the disparity is large. USA has 2 times more internet users than the next, China. And chances are these 1 billion people that get to decide which are the greatest wonders of our time, probably have no authority, not to mention the skewed demographics. How the fuck does Russia’s Kremlin stand a chance when it has not even 10 percent of internet users. The whole exercise is absurd. Yet, it has gained so much popularity that it might just be regarded as the new list.

So, if I wasn’t as lazy as I am, who would I vote for? Well the Taj for sure. Not because I love the monument so much or am in total awe of it but because people visit it. It brings in money, other people’s money. And for that reason alone, I would love for it to be in Social Studies textbooks around the world. I’d vote for the Kremlin. No need to guess why there.

The rest would have to be:

Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany

Petra, Jordan

The Pyramid at Chichén Itzá, Mexico

The Acropolis of Athens, Greece

Angkor, Cambodia

The list is far from popular, and I am sure most of them won’t make it into the Top 7. But who the fuck cares? It is bound to be fucked up if it is left to the people. Take your cue from democracy.

Oh, and thank you Air India for a free dinner and stay! Perfect way to start off a perfectly useless weekend, whose highlight was The Fountain, which I highly recommend. Which is more than I can say for the other “seven wonders” that I watched before it.

Sadistic Youtube

2007-06-21T02:47:00.000-05:00

Think twice before giving him your car keys.

Superscar - Sivaji

2007-06-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning, 15 minutes before noon, I hear a faint knock followed by a familiar voice. It has just been 3 hours since I fell asleep. I groggily lift my head as I enquire to the reason of this blasphemy. Coming from a family that regards the Sabbath to be a holy day, I was obviously annoyed at the brazen intrusion. Turns out I am being asked if I want to join my roommate to a Tamil movie (for the record, I don’t speak the language and my understanding of it is just sufficient to hire an auto rickshaw). He just got ditched by another friend of ours and wants to avoid going alone. After some calls (trying to avoid having to say ok) I seem to have worked myself into a corner and agree to accompany him. The car is rented, made some ham and cheese sandwiches with bologna (we ran out of different types of salami as you can see) and we hit the road.

Starting time, 4:30 PM; that’s what the ticket reads. 4:05 and we make it into the parking lot. There seems to be a huge queue of Indians. We join it right at the back. But it isn’t until 5 that we are allowed into the theater. The show is delayed, apparently because “cleaning the theater will take longer”, sugar-coated for you cultureless motherfucking excuses for civilized humans since the previous crowd had thrown bits of paper into the air as a symbolic gesture for happiness. Hence the delay. As I hear the news, the grumblings begin. Not to mention the 90 degree weather that has me sweating like a hippo (got sick of pigs, except one ;) ) So I’m watching the bemused passersby as they wonder why the fuck there is a 100 man queue outside a theatre. Some pause, to enquire, all the time adding to my hysterical laughter and terrorist jokes.

5 past 5, lights dim before finally going off and before the movie even begins, a series of roars and whistles and god knows what else overtakes the theatre. The movie lasts a little shy of three and half hours. Luckily I’m not paying for this movie. I have some free sodas and my handy bag of cream and onion chips. One hour into the movie, and its not started. Though I have seen more skin in this movie than in Original sin or Embrace of the vampire, the censor boards continue to find breasts and vaginas too sensitive for the Indian paying public, who continue to objectify women in their movies and in their lives. Can’t blame them, for the main female role is just for the sake of titillation and to render the depth in the stereotypical patriarchal male lead character. On a different note, I enjoyed it. She was hot and almost naked most of the time, except when she had to step into the role of the “perfect woman”.

After the intermission the movie finally picks up. The second half of the movie had the lead popping gum on rebounds and flashily changing his sunglasses and stupidly retarded dialogues. Though, some were funny, I wish I was emo enough to slit my throat. There was no real story to carry the movie for half a good nights sleep except the “superstar” status of the lead. Actually it is not too late. I can slit my throat even now. Crap. I don’t have it in me. And now the semi-naked female interest barely shows herself either. Fuck. Maybe I should start making out with the woman next to me!? Oh… crap, wall to one side, roommate to the other. Maybe hitting my head on the wall will save me from the toothache of a movie and just in case my roommate can read minds. So it’s 8:30 PM now. Movie just got done. And we have to be home by 10. I was hoping to get 15 minutes of parking lot driving experience before heading back. I should have stayed home and finished the third season of family guy. Damn you 4 hour movie making slime balls to hell.

Poochie Poo

2007-06-16T06:37:00.000-05:00

Yet another four-legged-menace-to-society invites my loathing.

Dogs, cats and pretty much any other two, four, six or eight legged creature brings about pretty much the same feeling of annoyance as does an ill-mannered baby. They all have one thing in common though. They don’t know where the fuck to excrete. They purge themselves anywhere they deem fit. Thankfully, I don’t own one of those little rascals, the animal kind or the human kind and hence I am saved of the everyday battle with feces, puke and urinal discharge.

But that doesn’t save me from those mongrels roaming the streets. “Oh he doesn’t bite!” What good natured people, reassuring me and alleviating my fears. That is, until their damn mutt takes a nice piece of me. And then am I allowed to retaliate? An eye for an eye?

You might say that it is a rare occurrence. True. But one thing that isn’t rare is those damn stupid pooches sniffing my genitals. It’s the most annoying feeling… having to stop in your tracks to be “searched” by a Britney spears think-alike. I guess there is no true revenge as long as dog lovers exist. Or is there? I am considering chemical warfare.

This was a rant I had typed out on "one of those days"; dog poop all over the place (yes, in Chicago) and an over-enthusiastic doggy and its barking-sniffing extravaganza. But that was then, and though I didn't post it, it seems ironically funny to me and hence I made the decision to post it.

Mediocre Criticism

2007-06-16T06:09:00.000-05:00

I keep feeling that we as a species are mediocre, satisfied by it, if we aren’t too busy glorifying it. I too, suffer from the same ailment; mediocre at best at the things that I do. But this isn’t about doing, this is about critics.

What is a critic’s job? Is he supposed to judge an action or performance based on the mediocre standards we set for ourselves or with the elite few that surpass our standards many fold? I guess that would depend on many factors. Perhaps the level of interest would be one. I would not judge an amateur act against a professional act, simply because of the amount of time they invest in learning their specific skill sets. I am sure I could come up with a bunch of other “guidelines” I implicitly use to gauge an action.

But this brings me to my question, What if something is mediocre after compared to those that fall within its most comparable sub-sets? A professional football player would be judged with another player, of the same era and then decided if mediocre. But this takes the “discussion” to a totally different course. So I shall steer clear of the fine line of what that appropriate “sub-set” really is.

But having identified that sub-set, and having judged an action as mediocre compared to the other actions from within those most alike, is it fair to elevate the performance based on the fact that the critic is incapable of that level of performance? I have had this argument thrown in my face that I should reserve my comments unless I was capable of out-performing the person whose act I am criticizing. This argument actually amazes me, since it denies the very nature of a critic and the logic that governs it. Movie critics are not the cream of movie directors, actors, editors, writers etc. Some perhaps have no experience in the movie making industry and all knowledge is purely academic.

If you can't take a good kicking, you shouldn't parade how much luckier you are than other people.
Charles Saatchi

Dumb Americans

2007-06-12T12:54:00.001-05:00

Are Americans dumb?

I can’t say for sure if they are. Most of the people I meet seem to have some semblance of intelligence and are capable of holding their own in a debate. However, having said that, some extremely eminent scholars (most of them either Americans or Europeans) seem to believe, with sufficient reason, that the “allegations” are not baseless or pointless.

1. Richard Dawkins

Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist and ethologist, born March 26th, 1941 in Nairobi, Kenya (a place that holds fond memories for me, personally), holds the Charles Simonyi Chair for the Public Understanding Of Science at Oxford University. A champion of the modern atheist movement, he has managed to acquire the epithet, “Darwin’s Rottweiler”.

Richard Dawkins is the author of nine books (among a multitude of essays), some of which include The Selfish Gene (1976), The Blind Watchmaker (1986) and his most recent, The God Delusion (2006).

Richard Dawkins in his documentary “The Root of All Evil?” claims that over 40% of the American population believes in creationism and is averse to the idea of evolution. I have been unable to find the exact resources to prove those numbers (though I am sure I will find something on Dawkins’ site), it is interesting to note that in 1999, The Kansas State Board of Education deleted evolution from its science standards. There are American web-sites claiming that man and dinosaurs co-existed. Some of these sites claim dinosaur sightings.

2. Scott Ritter

Scott Ritter is famous for his stint as chief weapons inspector in Iraq from 1991-’98 and also for his open statements denying Iraq’s WMD’s even prior to an Iraq attack. He is well known for his stand on the Iraq war as well as the US policy on Iran.

Scott Ritter has also served in the US military and Intelligence divisions and is now highly vocal on his views over Iran and a possible attack and is not only against attacking them (or N. Korea for that matter) but has stated more than once that both N. Korea and Iran are well within their legal rights to pursue their nuclear interests and places the blame squarely on the Clinton and following Bush administrations for the political unrest in the middle east and around the world. He has also stated that the US government is solely responsible for the mercury rising in the Middle East in spite of the Ayatollah’s (Supreme Leader of Iran) bids for peace and diplomatic discussion.

Scott Ritter believes that the American public is ignorant as to the ground realities in the Middle East and the regime-changing foreign policy of the US government. He further believes that the American public can be easily made to jump onto the Iran bashing band wagon (like Iraq before) by the media propaganda and chest beating uber-patriotic speeches as against their dissuasion against a possible attach by virtue of a more rational voice of reason

3. Youtube

Youtube.com certainly has its own set of people that think Americans are dumb. Loads of videos suggesting the same have been found around the web. Now, it might be highly possible that these are just exaggerations, or perhaps even staged events (though I don’t know who the above mentioned uber-patriotic person would be willing to stage something like this), but all of it is really amusing nonetheless. This one probably doesn’t hold as much weight as the first two, but I am sure people will spend more time on this one than reading or researching on the first two. And that is because… people are stupid. Perhaps I should add a people=stupid tag on my sidebar too.

4. Creationism

Now these videos aren’t necessarily indicative of American stupidity, but rather religious bigotry. I humbly accept. However in a country where a majority of its people believe in the very same religion and practice the same bigotry, it can’t be shielded away from looking stupid. And if you care to watch the next video, you will notice it is a New Zealander questioning the “stupid” viewpoints of the clergy.

5. George Carlin

The 70 year old stand-up comedian is known for his critique of the US foreign policy, and often of religion. Carlin, in many of his stand-up routines, has poked fun at the “dumb” American.

I think Carlin’s humor is sufficient enough that I don’t need to elaborate anymore.

6. George Bush

This man needs no introduction. Most of you’ll are already thinking a) How does dubya being stupid make the rest of America stupid? and b) When did dubya call the american people dumb?

He didn’t call the American people dumb (AFAIK) and is probably quite intelligent (perhaps not articulate and has some learning disorders), to be as successful as he is. Perhaps it is all due to his father’s power and fame, but then I have heard before that he too was “stupid”, perhaps to a lesser degree.

As for how him being “stupid” making the American people stupid, that’s not it. The fact that he has been re-elected makes them stupid. The fact that he has them believing that they are fighting a war on terror (rather than a war of terror, in the words of Borat), that they give a damn about democracy or people’s rights around the world. If anyone believes that these wars (I would as easily call them acts of terrorism, as any other) are for the good of anyone other than the United States (and just a select few at that), then this is certainly a good indicator of how much Americans think (rather than the lack of brains).

7. Borat

George walker was going to be the last entry in that list, until I quoted Borat’s speech. That movie certainly had the rest of the world believing that the Americans are really dumb and think they are know-it-alls.

In conclusion, do I think now, that Americans are dumb? Probably not. Actually, I am pretty sure they are not. If anything, they are ignorant and some Americans think they have the right to be.

Hot Cross Buns

2007-06-03T00:59:00.000-05:00

Past impressions or Brand recall, call it what you want, but it certainly does influence choices. It did mine. The Good Shepherd vs. The Illusionist. Edward Norton (Primal Fear, Fight Club and Kingdom of Heaven) and Paul Giamatti (Lady in the Water, Cinderella Man, Sideways, Paycheck and Confidence) had a greater track record than Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting, Syriana, Bourne Identity, The Departed and School Ties) and so I went with The Illusionist for my daily entertainment.

Young love lost and found, seemed to be the story, with some voodoo backdrop that was just a mere prop in the plot. Jessica Biel and Edward Norton’s “forbidden” love propels the great illusionist to plot the downfall of the Vienna prince and his evil plans of world domination. Okay… exaggeration, but at least plans of ruling as emperor after over-throwing his own father and emperor. The plot was like an Indian road after the monsoons. Predictable to the point that each detail became clear when Eisenheim hypnotizes his former childhood lover. Had I known how bad the script was, I would perhaps have opted to watch The Good Shepherd. Even Giamatti, who usually seems to be uplifting (even though monotonous), seemed to have nothing to portray in excess of the stereotypical good cop who just seems not to get the picture.

And all goes dandy, as the illusionist tricks the over-zealous cop and having probably pulled of the greatest illusion of death retrieves his love from the crutches of an evil chauvinist and possible tyrant and saves the Austrian world. The flashback when Inspector Uhl finally “gets it” was as predictable as the script itself, as in every “Sherlock” movie, the director assumes the viewer to be too dumb to decipher for himself the sequence of events. All in all, unintelligent movie making. Can’t call a movie a mystery if you explain the whodunit or howdunit at the end of it!

I followed up my night of cinematic bliss with a recommendation. Bollywood at its finest with writer-director Sanjay Kanduri’s debut film Ek Chalis Ki Last Local. The Abhay Deol- Neha Dhupia “star studded bonanza” had nothing going for it. Abhay Deol is as good an actor as his more illustrious cousins and uncle. It certainly was a shoot-me-in-the-face performance. The script was BAD. I mean real bad. The dialogues were a bit decent (if you like no-brainer comedies) and tried their best to cover-up the pitfalls in the script and acting. The comedy, at best, was a scary movie styled parody of much better cinematic moments and hence provided as much laughter as getting shot in the toe!

The movies thrill and chill ability seemed to be restricted to The Departed’s and Lock Stock’s shoot-‘em-all style with the lone survivor going for glory. At a playtime of a little over 2 hours and 20 minutes, a time warp to say the least, it felt like trying to pull an ingrown out of your toe. The only shock came when the well mannered Dhupia turned out to be a mere hooker who seemed to get her customers after entrapment. But the way she looks, I doubt she needs to!

So at the end of 4 and a half hours ( I had a couple of much needed intervals put in there to avoid going crazy), its fair to say I’ve gotten a little dumber. Added with the beer and pizza, more grey cells drowned and some much needed calories added. Here is hoping for a better fare tomorrow with The Good Shepherd and another reco, Shootout in Lokhandwala. Until then, Biel and Dhupia will keep me company!

P.S. I have tried to avoid too many spoilers in the “reviews” but feel free to ask me when and how I figured out The Illusionist script.

AND WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK VOLTAS IS DOING IN MY FUCKING RUCKUS MP3’S!!! Fuck those corporate advertising motherfuckers to fucking hell. If I hear one more fucking advertisement @#!*@^

Cultural Exposure

2007-05-31T15:49:00.000-05:00

'I want to showcase our culture to the West'

Shilpa Shetty is all set to "showcase" our culture to the west. Bollywood dancing. If you are thinking what is wrong with that...

Not that the entertainment value of bollywoods jhatkas is any less than the lip-locking on hollywood screens, but to call that a showcase of our culture is a stretch.

For those of you that are going to accuse me of being sexist, lets wait till King khan decides to showcase India's "culture". If "sex sells" is your next clichéd addition, I know. I buy. But that doesn't change the fact that this is not Indian culture. Heavily borrowed from the cabaret style of the jazz era and hip-shaking aka jhatkas of the hip-hop and latino culture, it is far from "our" culture.

The big-brother cry baby, should work on what she knows best (though that in itself is debatable), acting.

Leave the dancing and cultural exposure to the pros.

Cinematic Mediocrity

2007-05-22T01:05:00.000-05:00

300. Prepare for glory.

I did. Needless to say, when there is so much hype surrounding anything, its more a case of "prepare to be disappointed". The cinematography and technical aspects of the movie were really good, but who the hell wrote that script? Whatever happened to facts? Whoever used the term "wild night" in those days?

I could go on about that, but since someone has already done all the hardwork, I'll be content to link to him.

The 300 Movie: Separating Fact from Fiction By Dr. Kaveh Farrokh

But the movie was not all bad. Nice camera work, lighting etc made for atleast a half decent experience (if you left your brains home) and then there was a silver lining for those that managed to stay awake long enough, past the incessant claims of spartan valor. Lena Headey.

Marketing

2007-05-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

This is a clip from the movie Diggers (2006).

Feminism

2007-05-19T04:24:00.000-05:00

Through out history, the people, the nations that have refrained from making excuses for their shortcomings, for their inadequacies or even those imposed by external agents have been the ones to succeed. Hiroshima and Nagasaki devastated a tiny island nation that now has the third largest GDP and is one of the world economic powerhouses. The land of Amstel and Heineken, having had their fair share of floods, still manage to make it to the top 3 exporters of agricultural goods or how Norway, land of the rising sun, with its “high plateaus and rugged mountains” and annual average temperatures well within single digit manage to have the highest Human development index. They manage to sustain the second highest per capita GDP, have one of the lowest unemployment at a shy under 4% and above all that manage to be the largest non-OPEC oil exporting nations, just behind Saudi Arabia and Russia (both OPEC members). The past and present, and I predict, by the trend, the future, will continue to indicate as such.

In a society both adept and receiving of the art and science of excuses, it is but natural that failure must follow. Every vice has its excuse ready and every excuse, the nail that builds the house of failure; Vocalized flurry of cover-ups and the inability or unwillingness to seek out the solution, to put into action rather than stand at the corner shop with a cigarette in hand complaining yet again of a failed government, marriage, and career. A desire to wake out of the ashes, like many before, in tales, mythical and factual, of heroism or the silent acceptance of our futile battle against the sinking quicksand in which we find ourselves.

Far too many times I have seen the government being criticized, perhaps for their corruption, or for their lack of desire to work, being reflected by our very own collective personalities. Or maybe the “fair sex” or “weaker sex” blaming their inability to raise themselves on what can be a level playing field if they choose it to be. Just like NGO’s are the bane of our desire for better governance, reservation the poison of our caste division, feminism is the hindrance to sexual equality.

Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry.

Such women dream of being raped, but no one wants them. They like standing next to strong male bodies.......
- MP Vladimir Zhirinovsky on feminist MP Yevegenia Ttishkovskaya

Feminism is about sacrifice, sacrificing men

"Then came the women's movement, modeled on the civil rights movement; it won converts even in Middle America. As blacks had demanded equal rights with whites, women demanded the same rights as men. Nothing less than full equality. If the boys can sow their wild oats in frat houses and singles bars and with one-night stands, why not us? But as nature did not design the sexes that way, and the consequences of promiscuity are unequally borne by women, in the form of babies, solutions had to be found."
- Pat Buchanan

The Depressed Doormat

Giver of Knowledge: The Gupta Way?

2007-05-10T01:37:00.000-05:00

Nalanda University is set to make a “come-back” from the dead. One of the world’s greatest universities, there is a plan to revive the university. A consortium led by Singapore and INCLUDING India and Japan is attempting to raise 500mn usd to revive the university. Sad state of affairs, since the university lies inside of India and has been one of the greatest centers of education along with Takshashila, banaras and many others.

But that might be a blessing in disguise, since the Indian government seems to have the anti-thesis of the midas touch. I shudder to think what they might do, if un-supervised, to what is undeniably one of histories greatest universities, and surely rivaling the IIT’s, MIT’s and Harvard’s of today, in the sheer number of great thinkers it has produced. Another reason I am disappointed, is thanks to the Indian Press, I am learning of this just now. NY Times covered this early December, 2006 and rediff.com just now. Sad that indians are informed of something that might concern them after americans find out about it.

But I shall, for once, not think of the negatives that this project might entail if left in the hands of the Sonia gandhi’s and Arjun Singh’s who would not waste their time in putting in place a system of reservation that would surely deprive us of a chance to gain knowledge in India’s greatest university, if they did manage to restore it to its former glory (no small task, especially for an Indian government).

Instead, there is so much that might go well, not just for India, but also asia and possibly the world. Firstly, the project seems like the first real effort at regional cooperation. ASEAN, NAM and the likes are a bunch of bullshit. Old farts lined up around a table, talking about their grandchildrens soccer games and sipping oolong tea. This seems like the first real effort at forging a working alliance that will aid asian countries in restoring some of their past glory.

But is this effort lacking foresight? Some would say so. A Yale School of Management Professor writing for the business section of NY Times seems to have picked up on this lack of foresight on the part of the Indian, singaporean and Japanese delegation. A startup of 500mn doesn’t seem like much when you compare it to operating costs at harvard which runs into billions annually. So what value is 500 million?

I shall leave you with the article by Jeffrey Garten, since any expansion on the above idea will surely tread on plagiarism, and it sounds way more convincing when it comes from a former dean of Yales management school.

Really Old School by Jeffrey E. Garten

P.S. The bulk of this article was typed out early April, so those who are going to stake claim that it was covered in the news a month back, kindly note that I do know that.

2007-04-29T21:07:00.000-05:00

"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."
Lillian Florence Hellman (June 20, 1905 – June 30, 1984)

Wicked Progeny

2007-04-25T11:07:00.000-05:00

Kids, concrete proof that humans love misery. Why we still reproduce those bundles of joy is still a mystery. If there is a god, and this is all by design, why the fuck didn’t god make kids realize THEY ARE NOT FUCKING CUTE. If you think your kid puking on me, pulling my beard or just being a fucking nuisance in a public place is cute, kindly do not reproduce. If you still feel like doing so, keep your annoying nincompoops away from me, lest they think I shall find their antics as cute as their mind-numbing parents. You might think I deserve being annoyed for thinking of kids that way of those powerless little visions of god, think again. It might not be as much fun when your 3 and a half foot spawn, for me, begins to personify a giant football.

Keep your fucking kids on their leash, and if you can’t or find it inhuman, its time you consider permanent birth control.

President Inaction

2007-04-24T23:45:00.000-05:00

I believe India – 2020 is a great PR job by the president. I too bought it, if only to escape this world and country into a possibility of utopianism. Today, however, after almost 5 years of the greatest PR man in Indian politics, I have come to the realization that no President of this country is willing to stick his neck out.

The growing trend of crime, corruption and above all else apathy by the people and the media, who are more content worrying about ladoos for the wedding of the century, not to mention the selective alienation of sections of the Indian population (read reservations) is more than sufficient reason for me to believe that this dream for an all powerful India in just over a decade will remain a pipe dream.

The president’s inaction over the past few months and more generally over his term, in cases like the Alistair Pereira case, or the Black Buck cases and even in army corruption charges shows his inability to take a hard stance, and hence the man who dreams of a glorious country shows his inability/unwillingness to work towards that goal and above all, shows how shrewd a politician and PR manager he is, capitalizing on his “missile man” image, to make a quick buck while the rest of India allows themselves to be enamored by the picture of glorious India he paints.

Letter to the mis-editor

2007-04-17T12:54:00.000-05:00

I have always been of the opinion that Indian newspapers thrive on sensationalism and fabricated news. You guys go the extra mile and prove it altogether.

We are quick to blame our politicians for everything that is wrong in India, but the fact remains that the media is equally to blame, since it is the voice of the people as well as the true source of information for those people too. Opinions can be formed and changed by news articles, since it is unthinkable of a newspaper lying. In the event that you have already accepted the possible mistake, I apologise. But if this hasn't happened yet it shows the difference between how responsible Indian and western newspapers feel. I believe a Washington paper had the same article (The Post?) and has since made an apology for its mistake.

The article I wish your clarification on is the following
http://www.indianexpress.com/story/15406.html#

"Domestic violence law in force from today"

I quote from the article:

"According to the United Nations Development Programme, nearly 70 per cent married women in the age group of 15 to 49 years in India face “rape, beating and verbal abuse”."

There is a gross lack of social responsibility on behalf of your journalist (I am trying hard to remain social and hence grant this title to her) and hence by your newspaper too.

I have searched the UNDP site and have been unable to find the said statistic. On the contrary, I have found another UN statistic (unfpa.org) that is at poles with what you have without verification printed in your paper.

Unlike your newspaper I shall cite my source and await your clarification.

UNFPA

Hoping that this letter does not get engulfed in the Red tape of Indian "journalism".

No News Is Good News

2007-04-16T23:06:00.000-05:00

This is a post I had made on Contradiction Reflected. Just thought I'd place it here too.

It has been at least, 2 years since I have opened up a news papers or hit the enter button on our very own Indian news sites. Two years and nothing has changed. Indian “NEWS” (even today analogous to tabloids and poor quality playboy versions) is as sensation driven as it was 2 years ago and is yet to mature. If I may say so, it seems to be getting worse. The Indian public is still being brain-washed with bad news, sensational events, and Idol Worship, even in a country graced by great thinkers like Swami Dayanand Saraswati.

My return to the Indian news reading population ended up being temporary. I have been driven away again from those over-crowded, mind numbing web sites that post the Indian news in digital format.

Articles like the ones I am going to pin-point are the ones that make me want to hurl my chicken dinner and any person that takes himself seriously should have the same feeling everytime he visits rediff.com, indiatimes.com or picks up a print edition of The Times of India.

Yana Gupta: Behind the hourglass figure!

This one is from indiatimes.com. I too, from time to time, enjoy being titillated by semi-naked or even naked women flaunting those medical marvels, those countless plastic surgeries, lakhs of rupees spent at dental clinics etc. But that being said, newspapers should be separate from Playboy pretends.

No reply from Sachin, Yuvraj yet: BCCI

This one should be re-titled “Indian cricketers at their Best”. Bitching after yet another dismal performance, playing the blame game like their politician mentors at BCCI. The coach getting blamed because of the players’ lack of ability in a country they know hero-worships them.

Emraan’s latest on screen lip-lock!

And they say Indians are getting more broadminded everyday. I doubt it. When every “on screen lip-lock” is being hailed like the 10th avatar of Vishnu, you know we are far from being broad minded and are looking to sensationalise our movies as well as our newspapers.

Quoting from the article:
“Talking of her debut kiss on-screen, she says, “I was very nervous during the first kissing scene, but the director made it look so easy that it didn’t take much effort.” Is she trying to say Emraan’s an amazing kisser? Say it gal…you aren’t the first one to feel that way…”

This is obviously a great piece of journalism from someone that will find himself amidst the ranks of John Hersey or the more famous duo of Woodward and Bernstein very soon. Not that I want to comment about his style of writing, but more so on his IQ and his standing at a major newspaper, even if it is in the tabloid sections. The “gal” says the DIRECTOR made the kiss look easy, not Emraan, who is the actor (I suppose, or has the casting couch become public now, like reality television). Anyway, that aside, can’t the director-duo (two brains are better than one?) come up with more than a one-word movie title that their 2nd standard going children came up with?

Arun Nayar in hiding?

This one takes the cake. Arun Nayar, the name sounds familiar. Oh yeah! He is the rich guy whose claim to fame was that he banged Liz Hurley. And he is still in the news ‘cause he doesn’t want to talk to daddy dearest? Leave the man alone. I think all this negative press coverage is giving him a hard time getting it hard.

Trump tops 'Unsexiest men' list

While he makes it onto these unsexiest men lists, he is reading a real newspaper that makes him richer by the second, which in turn lands him some hot punani falling at his feet for a chance to clean his waterworks. At the same time, the people that came up with this list, and he who covered it for India Times, are stuck in a dingy office smaller than Trumps golf cart.

In more News: at TOI and rediff.com

I did it in heat of the moment: Tendulkar
Indian team jersey sells at half price
It hurts when coach questions our attitude: Sachin

Heat of the moment my ass. It wasn’t like it there was a debate between mr ten-run-kar and chappell. He had the time to think things over and I do not think an apology is sufficient.

Indian team jerseys are still selling? I thought the public would be stoning anyone wearing that artifact. On a slightly different note, the pakis called the Indian dressing room to thank them profusely over india’s departure from the WC. They now know that they will not be stoned to death as Pakistani fans are doubling with laughter after Indian press and fans did the same, although prematurely.

As for Mr ten-run-kar’s attitude, I think chappell got it wrong there. He has too much of it and all the wrong kinds. But then, in a country that will support him no matter what, even if he rapes and kills half our population, it is hard to find fault with his feeling of being indispensable.

Ambedkar memorial sparks controversy

Again? Must this happen every year? Waiting for a time machine to go blow this guys brains out for destroying almost single handedly, what could have been a great nation.

Abhi-Ash wedding: Guest list
Photo: Is this Ash-Abhishek's new home?
Sanju: I wish Ash-Abhi make me a chacha soon

Fuck. What is this country coming to? Note to self: In the event that above said time machine does get built, take out the BIG B and his oh-so-annoying wife, mother-in-law exclaiming with her pasted smile, of a manufactured wedding, about her alleged love for ash even before the announced nuptial.

You might say I have only targeted the bad news in the newspaper. I might have, but even then, this is alarmingly huge amount of news from two newspapers and obviously, over-lapping articles haven’t been pasted twice. This however is the only news that should be on that site. And I doubt THAT is the only news in a country of far over 1 billion people. Cricket, movies and celeb weddings can’t be the end of the world.

Polling peaceful, 46 percent turnout

It was also heartening to read about a calm election. Someone seems to be working hard to maintain peace, and keep the vote bandits at bay.

Woman slices hubby's nose

Where are the female activists? Sarcasm aside, I don’t think what this woman did is punishable. In fact I can justify it without feeling even a bit hypocritical about the whole thing. While the murder should be tried, the fact that she was driven to it by an abusive husband must hold some water right? And isn’t it a wake up call for the moronic public to stop listening to bullshit activists and begin using their brains and make sure that the real women that need upliftment get it? But in a country with a reservation mentality, I am looking forward (rubbing hands gleefully) to many more homicidal acts of revenge. Perhaps someday Rabri will do it to pyaare Lalooji and that will act like our 9/11.

One cornea gives vision to three patients
Probably the most important news article of the day. I wonder if it was even covered by any of the news channels or print media. If it hasn’t it is a disgrace and there is no wonder as to why the brain drain still occurs.

Case registered against Narayana Murthy for remarks

This article was just personally gratifying. I wonder what the punishment for the offence is and I hope it is most severe. I also hope, that in addition, they staple potty mouth.

Hit and Why Bother Run

2007-04-15T06:18:00.000-05:00

Is the latest Alistair Pereira “hit and run” case a failure of the Indian judicial system, the judicial executives, the media or the Indian public? Whichever one it might be, the picture is clear. India is not a developing country. We are a rapidly deteriorating, inadequate, impotent society, a virus, unworthy of our ancestors.

No matter how economically self-sufficient India gets, which it has in the past decade, these are the true indicators to a developed country and a socially conscious society. India 2020, Mr. Kalam, and Mr. Manmohan Singh (I refuse to call them Dr., as I consider that to be a title befitting people of distinguished character) will in 2050 continue to remain a 200-odd paged book of utopian face-in-the-sand optimism.

Species	Fat (g)	Calories (kcal)	Cholestrol (mg)	Protein (g)
Bison-Buffalo	2.42	143	82	33
Beef	9.3	211	86	20.78
Chicken *	7.41	190	89	23.09
Pork	10.5	215	92	20.99
Beefalo	4.8	143	44	23.30